When a goose gets their first car

Tweets of the week

‘Did all the birds fall down?’

‘Pardon?’

‘When you never had sky growing up’ pic.twitter.com/aPyLG8QzN6
— Elsa Williams (@williamspidge) June 12, 2024

I know it's a long shot but does anyone know what a trebuchet is?
— Phil Williams (@montaillacman) June 11, 2024

pic.twitter.com/olfbccjMcI
— wizardsofwood (@Thewearyadvent1) June 7, 2024

The Window Cleaning World Championships had to be put on hold.
There was a Streaker.
— Alf (@whoelsebutalf) June 14, 2024

Fuming. Absolutely fuming. Paid a joiner to build a single bed, and he’s done a bunk… It’s just one thing on top of another.
— Janice Greer (@JaniceGreer34) June 13, 2024

it was all Plan Eyyyyyyy pic.twitter.com/bijHrIKvsZ
— Jack Bernhardt (@jackbern23) June 10, 2024

A police officer just stopped me due to the terrible state of the sleeve on my cardigan, which is covered in small balls of thread. I've been charged with grievous bobbly arm ????
— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) June 9, 2024

Tip for old people concerned about the carers robbing them. Put a few pencil marks up high on your door frames so they think you’ve got massive grandkids.
— Josh Pugh (@JoshPughComic) June 14, 2024