Tweets of the week

Posts of the week

"My work here is done" - Yoda, pointing at his desk.

— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) February 22, 2024

Don’t claim your car has a reverse gear unless you can back it up.

— Phil Pagett (@Phil_Pagett) February 20, 2024

I've been given three months to live.

I've asked for Feb 2056, April 2058 & November 3009

— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) February 20, 2024

My family moved around a lot when I was younger because they were made of jelly.

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) February 22, 2024

pic.twitter.com/dhhAZWx6Ie

— CEEFAUX (@ceefaux) February 22, 2024

I like my salad like my poker opponents - obscured from view by a massive fucking pile of my chips.

— Jason (@NickMotown) February 22, 2024

I hate the way English prefixes are so unconsistent.

— T'Other Simon - Off To Leicester Comedy Festival (@TOther_Simon) February 22, 2024

Last night I dreamt I got a really good degree. Which was a first.

— Craig Deeley (@craiguito) February 22, 2024

lidl got a Ricky Gervais doll on sale for £2.99 pic.twitter.com/4gBNt9t0Xg

— josh pappenheim (@papsby) February 20, 2024

Published: 23 Feb 2024