Tweets of the fortnight

Back after a week off... 

Posts of the fortnight

People at this club seem annoyed that I’ve played non-stop Steps, despite me very clearly telling them my DJ name is MC Escher.

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) December 29, 2023

My friend got a tattoo on his arm that says "comparison is the thief of joy" and I’m really debating getting the same tattoo on my arm but a little bit bigger

— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) January 2, 2024

If I was ever asked to be a cheerleader I’d jump at the chants.

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) January 4, 2024

Who decided to call them 'Asda Clothing Supervisors' and not 'George Foreman'?

— Alf (@whoelsebutalf) December 29, 2023

Just been awarded an oboe for services to autocorrect.

— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) December 29, 2023

My Doctor keeps telling me my tequila habit will kill me. I take it all with a pinch of salt.

— Ian Power (@IHPower) December 30, 2023

If you repeatedly insert your penis into an anthill, you'll get your comeuppance

— H Anthony Hildebrand (@hahildebrand) December 29, 2023

It’s 2024 and we have Batman shampoo but STILL no Conditioner Gordon. pic.twitter.com/KfUAb0macs

— Daniel Holland (@DannyDutch) January 1, 2024

Published: 5 Jan 2024