Tweets of the week

Tweets of the week

"Thank you for ringing Brian Blessed's phone, I'm afraid it's currently experiencing high call volumes..."

— T'Other Simon (@TOther_Simon) April 11, 2022

It's actually bad luck to say MacBook inside an office. You have to call it 'The Scottish Laptop'

— Nathalie Kernot (@nolliepops) April 12, 2022

An Englishman an American and an Indian walk into a bar

‘Hello Mr. Sunak what are you drinking?’ https://t.co/2y097BOOk2

— fOz (@Fozdike) April 8, 2022

I’m 50. All celebrity news looks like this:

‘CURTAINS FOR ZOOSHA? K-SMOG AND BATBOY CAUGHT FLIPPING A GRUNT’

— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) January 6, 2022

For my birthday my friends all clubbed together and bought me a giant obstacle course and I still can’t get over it.

— Gary Delaney is on tour now (@GaryDelaney) April 10, 2022

Bakers who have 'Do not squeeze the baguettes' signs in their shops: I feel your pain.

— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) April 14, 2022

"Oh. You’re early"
- me, meeting an earl

— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️‍🌈 🇺🇦 (@craiguito) April 13, 2022

Published: 15 Apr 2022