WTF: Weekly Trivia File

• ‘If you see me on Grumpy Old Men, you can shoot me.’ Bill Bailey.

• The white coat Matthew Holness wore when he played Dr Rick Dagless in Garth Margenhi’s Darkplace has been put up for auction. Bidding on eBay started at 9am and already stands at £130, all for Macmillan Cancer Care. The winner also gets a personal note from Holness as Garth – in which guise he describes the lab coat as ‘soiled’ and adds: ‘The lucky winner will also own Garth's DNA: body salt, sweat/fat underarm residue (last boil-washed before Apes of Wrath filming’.

• A sobering thought for those still recovering emotionally or financially from the Edinburgh Fringe: Pre-orders for the 2014 programme opened yesterday.

• Shappi Khorsandi has been left devastated after her phone was stolen while she was out shopping. She thinks the Samsung Galaxy was taken from her baby change bag while she was shopping in Marks and Spencer in Ealing Broadway, West London, on Tuesday. She urged her 100,000 Twitter followers to retweet her appeal for its return, saying: ‘I’ve lost precious photos of my children, my son's 6th b'day and films of them both. Cash reward for return.’

• Understandably a lot of fuss about the journalist allegedly punched by a comic for tweeting criticism during a show. But let’s not forget stand-ups are more often in the firing line, as this proves:

• The Wire star Idris Elba used to be a bouncer at New York comedy club Carolines on Broadway – where he says he used to sell weed. ‘All those black comedians, they knew me as a doorman,’ he said of the likes of D. L. Hughley, Dave Chappelle in an interview with GQ magazine this week.

• It’s possibly not the cruellest of punishments, but Scottish comic Andy Cameron has been banned from Forfar Athletic football club after for criticising their artificial pitch. The Rangers supporter apparently criticised the ‘poxy’ stadium in the boardroom after his team’s 1-0 victory last weekend. But it did not go down well with Forfar chairman Alistair Donald, who banned Cameron, tweeted that he was ‘a nondescript wee comedian full of opinion that is irrelevant’.

• Continuing our pointless series of remixed sitcom themes, here’s Seinfeld:

• Sean Lock has come up with a good way to deal with the post-gig adrenaline rush, without hitting the bar every night: a nice warm bath in the hotel room.  ‘After you’ve had a bath it’s remarkable how your appetite for a piss-up disappears.’

• The black pencil dress Sarah Silverman wore to the Emmys last week cost her just $60 online.

• Tweets of the week
A ‘Twop Twip’ from Jake Lambert (@ LittleLostLad ): Will.i.am, get a much clearer sound with better quality, by changing your name to Will.i.fm.
Barry Arif (@ TheGroutmaster ): In last week's competition, we asked you to try to invent your own deadly nerve gas. And the result sarin!
Milk (@miilkkk ): "Benjamin Button who?"
"Benjamin Button"
"Who's there"
Knock, knock.

Published: 27 Sep 2013