GagSlag #2

Baby oil and batons

The gossipy and trivial, as reported over the past seven days...

Do you think this means anything? David Walliams has been talking about what the masters used to get up to when he was in the Sea Scouts. ‘It’s weird to think of it now, but they would do stuff like say, “Now you’ve got to put this wetsuit on… it’s very tight-fitting, so you have to take your trunks off and we’ll have to rub some baby oil into you in order to slip it on.” Then there was the time he forgot to bring his cagoule so one of the men bent him over, ordered him to take down his pants and whacked him with a baton. Oh, and then one of the masters took six boys to what turned out to be a naturist camp in Holland and they all slept naked in the same tent. ‘You wouldn’t get away with that now,’ says David. No, it’s nanny-state political correctness gone mad when you can’t get naked with young boys…
Still in Little Britain territory, Matt Lucas has announced that he’s tying the knot with lover Kevin McGee in a civil ceremony. So how does The Sun picture desk react to this wonderful news? By showing Matt in his shabby vest as Andy and photoshopping his boyfriend’s face onto dappy carer Lou. Just the stylish affair the big day will surely be… Click here to see it
And Lucas nicknames McGee 'Baby Bedingfield', because he looks like pop singer Daniel Bedingfield.

Spam are launching a ‘collector's edition’ flavour, Stinky French Garlic, to mark the West End opening of Monty Python musical Spamalot. But t the show's creator Eric Idle has been vegetarian for 30 years. ‘Spam is not for eating, it’s for humour,’ he says

Keith Allen, the comic now best known as ‘Lily Allen’s dad’ has become a father again at the age of 52. It’s the eighth child he’s had, with six different mothers