It's the Mighty Bush!
• 'Comedians aren't men or women, they're melancholy children.' Lenny Bruce's daughter, Kitty.
• Matt Berry will be singing the Toast theme tune live over the titles and end credits next week. He revealed on Twitter that he and his band, the Maypoles, will be racking up a first when they perform their track Take My Hand live on Channel 4 on Wednesday.
• Miranda Hart's car has been 'trashed' by a hit and run lorry driver. The comedian revealed on Twitter that it was damaged while parked outside her West London home on Monday night. 'If the truck who scrapped and trashed my parked car outside my house wants to get in touch for insurance reasons it would be nice,' she tweeted.
• Max Miller's comic song Mary From The Dairy from around the 1930s has been added to Spotify… but we're fairly sure this wasn't the original single artwork.
• Is this the start of a new acting dynasty? Frank Mangan, the five-year-old son of Episodes and Green Wing star Stephen, makes his stage debut today: As one of the Three Wise Men in his school nativity.
• Mrs Brown's Boys creator Brendan O'Carroll is buying Christmas dinner for 2,500 Irish families in need. He made the donation to the Society of St Vincent de Paul, a charity which supported his mother when she was widowed with 11 children.
• After watching the video of the Loose Tapestries' excellent festive single Can't Wait For Christmas this morning, we were then presented with this oddity from YouTube, a computerised voice reading out Noel Fielding's Wikipedia page with interesting pronunciations of No-well, The Mighty Bush, Never Mind The Buzz-ocks and Julian Barratt's suddenly very French sounding surname.
• The Loose Tapestries aren't the only ones with a Christmas single… Dapper Laughs has also released a festive track, with lyrics such as: 'New Year's is rubbish, it's proper overrated, I wish I'd stayed in and proper masturbated.'
• The Paul Smith suit Alan Carr wore for his Yap Yap Yap tour poster and DVD sleeve is up for auction, with proceeds going to the International Rescue Committee. Bidding stands at just £46 at the time of writing on eBay. And should you need his vital statistics, it's a 43inch chest, 36inch waist and 29inch inside leg.
• Even more affordably, a series of limited-edition 8inx10in prints containing comedians' quotes are also being sold off for charity. The words of Mark Watson, Sara Pascoe, Holly Walsh and others have been tuned into the cards by graphic designer Haiminh Le, who is selling them here
Tweets of the week
My psychiatrist has prescribed me a front door to help with my anger management
It's taking a while to kick in
— Darren Walsh (@DarrenWalshPuns) November 28, 2015
When the TV breaks and the old man gets up and whacks it a few times, just so the family see him doing something. That's not foreign policy.
— Phillip Jupitus (@jupitusphillip) December 2, 2015
Human foot for sale. Ideal stocking filler.
— Nick Doody (@NickDoody) December 1, 2015
Published: 4 Dec 2015