Ed Patrick on the highs and lows of the Edinburgh Fringe

Comedian Ed Patrick is at the Edinburgh Fringe with his show Catch Your Breath, about being an NHS anaesthetist and more, which is on at The Stand’s New Town Theatre at 3.10pm Here he shares what he can't get enough of at the festival, his most embarrassing Edinburgh experience and the worst thing about the Fringe. Apart from the cost of accommodation, obviously…

Edinburgh binge

The city practically being 24/7 for the entire month. At every hour of the day something, somewhere is going on. It's a never-ending sushi belt of shows, bars and questionable toilet facilities.

 There is artistry in how some improbable spaces have been made into ‘venues’ for a month, some defying physics and architecture. Literally any space inside or out. 

At every passing building or street corner something will be going on and you wonder ‘is this a show?’ Which is obviously not great for first responder doing CPR. 

Edinburgh cringe

 I used to be a rickshaw driver in Edinburgh, I know - a man of many talents. So I taxied lots of drunk folk across the city, and the Fringe was always busy. 

One evening, I picked up three tourists at the top of Leith Walk who wanted to go to Dalkieth Road, uphill most of the way. It had been a long night and I was struggling to keep going, despite a constant intake of dried fruit. I turned a corner and passed a bar with glass windows, where punters spilled their pints as they pointed and laughed at my obvious struggles. 

Soon after passing said bar, the road got VERY steep. I slammed the brakes on and stood on the pedals for a rest. But the brakes gave way, the pedals went in reverse, and we rolled back past the bar, much to my horror but to all the punters’ joyous cheers. 

My carriage also enjoyed the spectacle, and decided to end my suffering and join everyone else in the bar. 

Edinburgh whinge

Roadworks. I can't work out if they're genuinely trying to improve Edinburgh's road system, or if they're trying to trap tourists. They're a spider's web with hardhats and traffic cones. I might turn all the ‘diversion’ signs round so they point to my venue. Although ‘Road open via New Town Theatre 3.10pm-4.10pm only’ might raise suspicions. 

And if anything is to go by last year – the bins. The bin strike made the streets look apocalyptic, with litter swirling around roads, making late-night revellers stumbling at 5am think they’re living the start of 28 Days Later. 

Even without strikes, there never seems to be enough bins when the city is overpopulated for a month. The yearn for regular bin days is real, there’s nothing like that first hug of the wheelie back home. 

Published: 16 Aug 2023