Snowflake, Nazi, Remoaner, Trot, Libtard, Brextremist, Feminazi, Piers Morgan…As we divide each other up into more and more unpleasant categories of evil, it is time to establish, once and for all, what is good and what is bad.

Who better to arbitrate in these challenging divisive times than Lucifer himself?

The Devil no longer runs Hell day to day. He’s retired now, and plays golf at Mar-a-Lago, but the Dark Lord is still on the board of The Underworld and attends a bi-annual meeting to advise on how to make eternal damnation sustainably hot, how to keep a thousand minions on a zero hours contract and what to do about Jacob Rees Mogg.

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