Panel show returns tonight

Have I Got News For You gets stuck into the Labour freebie row, Sir Keir Starmer’s ‘sausages’ gaffe and the Tory leadership fight in tonight’s programme.

In the first new episode of since Labour moved in to Downing Street, Ian Hislop says: ‘Immediately Keir Starmer gets in and lots of people have said "you shouldn't take these freebies, you're going to get into trouble…" But, you know, he's a lawyer, he doesn't listen. 

‘You can't really spend years attacking the Tories for sleaze and then the first thing that happens is one of your major donors is giving you all this stuff for free – and it’s glasses,  you just think, don’t walk straight into it.’

‘He should have gone to Specsavers, is what you’re saying,’ Paul Merton added.

Hislop went on to explain: ‘ It’s just like the previous Labour government. If you remember the Blair government ran straight into Bernie Ecclestone –  major donor giving them a load of money and changing policy…

"Lord Alli is a major donor to the Labour Party. He gave them £500,000 earlier on and now he's given them suits and glasses and let them use his flat –  and he's doing it for nothing! He doesn't want anything in return.’

Panellist Helen Lewis pointed out: ‘Well he did get to have a pass, didn't he, to Downing Street, during the transition period, which they then took away from him. 

‘It was never really explained what he was there for, apart from just sort of vibing. I kinda imagine that he’s a bit like Bez in the Happy Mondays… just there to keep the energy up.’ 

Later in the episode, the panel tlooking back at Starmer’s infamous gaffe in which he mistakenly referred to ‘hostages’ as ‘sausages’.

The first of a brand new series, hosted by @kevinbridges86 with @helenlewis and @ChloePetts starts tonight at 9pm on BBC One and iPlayer pic.twitter.com/i2NwrcXkJQ

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) October 4, 2024

‘I did feel for him because he gave a very long speech and you thought, "no one will remember anything about that apart from when he said "we're going to bring the sausages home",’  Lewis said. 

‘I think what happened there is sometimes when I come on the television my mates will be like, "Can you get the word ‘unicycle’ in?’’ suggested comedian Chloe Petts.

‘Which you’ve just done,’ Merton pointed out.

‘James, you owe me a tenner mate,’ Petts added.

"Unicycle. I’ll have a tenner as well,’ quipped Merton.

Pets continued. ‘So I think what’s happened here is his mate, Labour peer Waheed Alli, has gone ‘if you say sausages in your next speech I'll give you 16 grand"  and he knew that ‘hostages’ was coming up and he saw an opportunity.’

Hislop revealed that on the night of the blunder he was  doing an event with former Lebanon hostage John McCarthy, He said: ‘I thought "oh no, this is really bad taste, I don't know what's going to happen."John McCarthy stood up and said, "As a former sausage…’"’

Kevin Bridges – who was hosting the show for the first time – said: ‘This is the end of Keir Starmer’s honeymoon period. Just three months and a majority of voters already think Labour will lose the next election. Put it this way, there are cruise ships in Belfast that have got off to a better start.’

 Turning to the Conservative Party in Birmingham, Hislop said: ‘Ir's very peculiar, the party that's just won with a thumping majority is absolutely miserable and the ones that have been wiped out and have got no chance for the next 50 decades are going "this is great!"

‘I actually think the Tories do like being in opposition, because it means they can attack the people they really hate – which is each other! But they’re certainly thrilled, they thought they had a great conference, didn’t they?’

Lewis added: ‘I've got a problem because as a citizen of a democracy I want them to have a really good leader, right? But as a journalist and someone who does comedy panel shows, I want it to be Robert Jenrick.’

‘Which one was he?’ asked Merton.

‘One of his kids’ middle names is "Thatcher",’ explained Lewis. "He said ‘I understand women because I've got three daughters, a wife, and my two dogs are female…’ That’s what this country deserves!’

• Series 68 of Have I Got News For You starts on BBC One and BBC iPlayer tonight from 9pm

Published: 4 Oct 2024