Mr Potato Head is not doing well...

Tweets of the week

Covfefelon
— Scott Rogowsky (@ScottRogowsky) May 30, 2024

[youth pastor voice]
you know who never made it to 34
— Richie K (@RichieWhat) May 31, 2024

I saw the Curious Case of Benjamin Button again last night. Never gets old.
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) May 29, 2024

Mr. Potato Head is not doing well. Tuberculosis.
— Charlie Alzamora (@chalzamora) May 29, 2024

My girlfriend has started buying invisible sex toys.

Honestly, I don't know what's gotten into her.
— Daniel Edison (@DanEdisonComedy) May 29, 2024

Some people believe Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back. To me that's even more impressive than painting its ceiling.
— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) May 31, 2024

I watched that Davd Cronenberg film thinking it unlikely that people could get aroused by car crashes. Then I see that Dan Hodges has 189k followers.
— sinhaha (@paulybengali) May 31, 2024

Throwing Scrabble tiles around the room is all fun and games until somebody loses an I.
— Gary Delaney-next tour 2025 (@GaryDelaney) May 31, 2024

We just need to invent a straw that lasts a little bit longer than 4 seconds but still less than a million years
— Matty (@bestestname) May 26, 2024

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Published: 1 Jun 2024