I've just robbed the local snooker club
Tweets of the week
Posts of the week
Hey girl are you the North of England, because I want to promise you the greatest rail you’ve ever had and then immediately disappoint you.
— Differently Dave (@GoldenVision90) October 5, 2023
I’ve just robbed the local snooker club in broad daylight. Took a lot of balls.
— Gareth George - Groan Man (@groanman2020) October 5, 2023
1970s FACT: The New Seekers actually did try to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony once, but failed because Holland was too flat.
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) October 4, 2023
Subscriptions >>> https://t.co/9sufx90xtM pic.twitter.com/dnCreCAYQD
— Viz Comic (@vizcomic) September 30, 2023
[Scooby Doo at an interview]
— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) October 1, 2023
Interviewer: May I see your CV?
Scooby: *hands CV over* Rrres you may!
Interviewer: Round here we call it a CV.
I just got an electric barrier installed at the bottom of my drive, and it came with an intercom as standard.
— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) September 30, 2023
With gate power comes gate response ability...
A policeman just told me to ‘stop my messing around’ turns out he wasn’t a real copper, he was one of the specials.
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) October 2, 2023
Applied for a sandwich making job, but they said the roll had been filled.
— Darren Walsh Puns (@DarrenWalshPuns) October 5, 2023
SEO before the internet was calling your cab company AAAAAAAAAAARDVARK Taxis.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) October 3, 2023
I'd really like to become an ombudsman. I just need to be bitten by a radioactive ombuds
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) October 3, 2023
The Two Rennies. pic.twitter.com/dbPpcCf0Ec
— Neil (@_Enanem_) October 5, 2023
Published: 6 Oct 2023
