Tweets of the week

Tweets of the week

I'm in a legal tussle with the red Teletubby over the ownership of a cabbage salad. It's complicated because she's substituted all but ten percent of it with a peppery Chinese sauce, but there's legal precedent because Po's szechuan is nine-tenths of the slaw.

— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) January 27, 2023

A lot of people are very negative about January, but I enjoyed all forty-seven weeks of it.

— Jason (@NickMotown) February 1, 2023

I'd love to be a stay at home dad. As long as the child wasn't at home with me.

— Martin Pilgrim (@MartinPilgrim1) February 1, 2023

If anyone says anything nasty to you at school just remember; sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me. Wait, no.

— Josh Pugh (@JoshPughComic) February 3, 2023

One Christmas I asked for Franz Ferdinand's album. They only had 1 at this point so I didn't think I had to name it.
I did have to name it.
My mam bought me a CD on the history of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria. So that. That is my favourite Franz Ferdinand album. https://t.co/JJozYGXg1E

— Marjolein Robertson (@MarjoleinR) February 2, 2023

Thåt's

t hę

lãšt
timę

I t ry

ând

püt

tògėthër
ã

twëēt frôm

IKEA .

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) January 29, 2023

"No harm, bum balm" will now be my standard response to anyone who apologises to me. pic.twitter.com/5W5TQZH8xi

— Flups (@TheRealFlups) January 30, 2023

Published: 3 Feb 2023