Britain's best dad jokes
Greetings card firm Thortful has released a rundown of dad jokes to coincide with Father's Day on June 5.
They were ranked following a survey, but who cares about that? It’s all about the puns. So here goes, the top dad jokes are:
- What do you call it when James Bond takes a bath? Bubble 07.
- Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
- I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
- How do cows stay up to date? They read the Moo-spaper.
- I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
- Why can't a leopard hide? He's always spotted.
- Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a bit more space
- Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice
- Did you hear the rumour about butter? Well, I'm not going to go spreading it
- Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands
- Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired
- How do astronomers organise a party? They planet
- Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well
- I hated facial hair but then it grew on me
- I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What did the policeman say to his bellybutton? You’re under a vest.
- Why do people say "break a leg" when you go on stage? Because every play has a cast.
- What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest.
Published: 24 May 2022