'I taught my owl how to tell bad jokes...'
Quote of the week
'Good comedy makes people slightly uncomfortable with the opinions they hold.' Patrick Kielty
Tweets of the week
I'm glad he went to medical school, because "Mr. Strange" lacks oomph.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) May 6, 2022
Wall quotes are the tramp stamps for homes
— PIPPI-LONG-STOCKING (@SarahSurgey1) May 10, 2022
I have a lot of sympathy for the government's position on the Northern Ireland Protocols. Any creative will recognise the process of spending an absolute age crafting something you think is great, only to immediately label it as awful rubbish the moment it goes out in the world.
— Smithy (@Smithinks) May 12, 2022
feeling sad today. can everyone please send cute pictures of their credit card, front and back?
— trash jones (@jzux) May 7, 2022
*braces self* https://t.co/UnFbehcRFu
— Bonnie Tyler (@BonnieTOfficial) May 10, 2022
"I've taught my pet owl to tell really bad jokes."
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) May 11, 2022
"Can he tell one now?"
"No, he's knock-knockturnal."
Used to work with a grumpy older guy called Philip Eno and I was always too scared to ask if he was related to Brian Eno. Anyway, years later I actually met Brian and I said to him: "Is your brother Philip Eno?". He replied: "No, he's English".
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) May 12, 2022
Cruttenden has had to cancel performing at the comedy night with Widdecombe and Conaty tonight. But it's okay, as the other two are getting extended sets.
— Friz Frizzle (@FrizFrizzle) May 13, 2022
Which just goes to prove...
Josh and Roisin gig longer with Hal gone
"Right. We have three words left to put on Dad's memorial plaque. Rest in peace?"
— Michael Legge (@michaellegge) May 12, 2022
"No". pic.twitter.com/yks620wbl2
Published: 13 May 2022