Tweets of the week - guaranteed Hancock-free!

Tweets of the week

I call my testicles The Matrix because nobody wants to see the third one.

— Stu "Pathetic, Phallusy" Nugent (@__BatCountry) June 22, 2021

I just left my job at the sewer. Ten years down the drain.

— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) June 25, 2021

Fantastic rollout – 76% of adults over the age of 40 have now been offered the Tottenham Hotspur managers job.

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) June 24, 2021

Ruin a movie by adding the word "Sandler" to the cast list.

— Jason (@NickMotown) June 25, 2021

I'm running a Beatles pun contest, and I'm getting Paul McCartney to heyjudicate.

— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) June 21, 2021

How many Freudians does it take to change a light boob?

— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) June 25, 2021

Whenever I leave a restaurant, I always stop by a random table and say, "Thank you for taking care of our check."

— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) June 21, 2021

Published: 25 Jun 2021