Hoorah! An Australian-style deal!

Tweets of the week

Actually I think you’ll find that it wasn’t that the Emperor in the story wasn’t wearing any clothes, he was wearing Australian-style clothes.
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) December 10, 2020

Excited to announce I've just signed an Australia style deal with Manchester City.
— Fergus Craig (@FergusCraig) December 11, 2020

I'd love it if Bill Gates controlled me using a microchip. He couldn't do a worse job than I'm doing.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) December 8, 2020

the word "bed" is shaped like a tiny bed
— danny elhaj (@comedyrainman) December 9, 2020

My girlfriend has left me because of my insecurities.

No wait, she's back. She just went to make a cup of tea.
— Sarah (@MaidenSarah1) December 4, 2020

'RITA ORA' is an anagram of 'PARTY' if you totally ignore the rules.
— Joe Lycett (@joelycett) December 10, 2020

Need a gift idea for someone who’s difficult to please? Buy something that YOU would enjoy. And keep it. Fuck that person for being difficult.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) December 9, 2020

He’s making a list,
And checking it twice,
You won’t believe what these 36 child celebrities look like now.
Santa Claus is working for Buzzfeed.
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) December 9, 2020