Tweets of the week

Tweets of the week

So what do we use as a phrase instead of: 'Avoiding it like the plague' now that we know that a lot of people don't, in fact, avoid plagues...

— Sophie Spengler (@sophie_sweets) August 6, 2020

"I really really really want a bigger cigar." - Groucho Spice

— Phil Comedy (@philswales) August 7, 2020

Everyone says I look like the back of a boat.

*stern face*

— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) August 3, 2020

If I was a millionaire, I'd eat *normal* shortbread from time to time, just to keep me in touch with my roots.

— T'Other Simon (@TOther_Simon) August 6, 2020

Ground beef, $3.99. Air beef, being much harder to catch, $14.99.

— Howard Mittelmark (@HMittelmark) August 4, 2020

For a quarter of a century my neighbour gets so noisy, as he bellows down the phone "You know theres more to me than Boycie." For 25 years I've been living next door to Challis.

— Paul Sinha (@paulsinha) August 7, 2020

Published: 7 Aug 2020