Tweets of the week

Tweets of the week

My Nan’s got a dripping tap in her kitchen, which goes to show how much she loves dripping.

— Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) January 5, 2020

The best cure for a persistent cough is to stop drinking milk. My elderly neighbour had a hacking cough for months but since he started leaving his milk on his doorstep a couple of weeks ago, it seems to have cleared up completely.

— Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) January 6, 2020

weird how it’s "embarrassing" to live with your parents but "mature" to live with your husband and kids - you still live with your family, loser

— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) January 10, 2020

Wait until the "steak bake must contain steak" brigade find out about spotted dick.

— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) January 4, 2020

This morning a woman in my Pilates class guffed explosively then turned to the teacher and said, "Sorry, Becky. I’ve just got back from Lowestoft."

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) January 10, 2020

Published: 10 Jan 2020