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'A snake did defecate on me' | WTF: Weekly trivia file

'A snake did defecate on me'

WTF: Weekly trivia file

• Are we sure Noel Fielding is the best person to be on Bake Off? He once confessed: 'I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes.' Meanwhile, here are nine cakes inspired by Noel Fielding.

• BBC Three comedy This Country is winning plaudits for its creator siblings Charlie and Daisy May Cooper – but their mother is keeping their feet on the ground.  'Our mum is still making us fill our job applications for Argos,'  Daisy May revealed on Shaun Keaveny's 6 Music show. 'She doesn't think the second series has got any legs,' Charlie confirmed.

• Comedian Simon Caine had a dilemma when seeking a date this week:

• Stand-up Janey Godley has revealed a very awkward exchange with a middle-aged Canadian couple who visited Glasgow's Wild Cabaret last weekend. Hosting the show, she asked them the best thing about Scotland, to which the man replied: 'The lack of brown people.' She laughed, thinking it a bad joke, and replied: "OK, so that's a nervous answer – funny and all but seriously you aren't racist…' and made a joke about him being thrown out of Toronto for being a 'Klan Boy'. He shrugged and stared at Godley, who turned to his wife and, 'still hoping she will clear it up and say its a joke' asked: 'So when you married Hitler did you know the depth of his racism?'  She replied: 'Well he's never been so open about it before like this in public…' Godley berated him, saying she hoped he had a minor car crash and that 'when the Somalian surgeon says you need a blood transfusion and a new kidney make sure you mention to him you only want white people's blood and organs and then let us know how that works out for you…' She then introduced the next comedian, who is Chinese. His opening line? 'Well this is awkward, eh?'

• A few Twitter wits had things to say following the news that Michael Barrymore is planning a sitcom comeback. Our favourite was this suggested title:

commander tuvok• Comedy couple Sarah Millican and Gary Delaney named their dog Commander Tuvok – after the Star Trek Voyager character. Pictured right, he was a rescue from Dogs Trust in Manchester – and now Delaney is to headline a benefit for the charity at Birmingham's Glee Club on March 27. The couple also have cats called Lieutenant Ripley, after the character in the Alien films, and Chief Brody, from Jaws. 'We are officially awesome at naming pets,' Millican says.

• Barry Cryer has been speaking his mind about David Walliams – comparing him to a certain tone-deaf would-be opera singer whose society friends entertained her delusions of grandeur.  'He's a modern-day Florence Foster Jenkins,' he told The Times. 'Everyone around him has been telling him he is funny.' But Cryer did have some words of praise, adding: 'Let's be fair to him – he is a good swimmer.'

• Claudia O'Doherty says one of her proudest moments was to get a sketch about a snake doctor on to Inside Amy Schumer. Only problem was she was also in it. 'I ended up having to hold like 20 disgusting snakes,' she recalls. 'One of them did defecate on me, which was deeply unsettling. It smelled like chemicals that would kill you.' Here it is:

• Friends star Matthew Perry has revealed that he once beat up Canada's prime minister Pierre Trudeau. He said he was 'not proud of' the incident, which happened when they were both at the same school when they were around 12 years old. 'I think he was excelling at a sport that we weren't as good at,' Perry told Jimmy Kimmel. 'It was pure jealousy. And we beat him up. I'm not bragging about this. We were stupid.'  

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Published: 17 Mar 2017

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