The Vulnerability of Unattended Baggage

WTF: Weekly Trivia File

'I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.' Leslie Nielsen

Bill Bailey became embroiled in a bomb scare near his house in Hammersmith, West London, on Tuesday that resulted in a controlled explosion. And he charted the affair on – where else? – Twitter. ' Suspect package incident in Hammersmith- cops akimbo - we've been coralled indoors,’ he tweeted. Then, a few minutes later: ‘Loud explosion heard at end of Ham/smith Grove - streets still empty’ followed by ‘Apparently controlled explosion of suitcase bomb - riots in London, no hobnobs, is this the End of Days?’ and ‘Area still cordoned off. Am being kettled in my own office.’ Finally the street was given the all-clear. ‘Some poor sod’s suitcase has been exploderised,’ Bailey wrote. ‘The Vulnerability of Unattended Baggage. That's the title of my next show.’

Still Game star Greg Hemphill has turned wresting referee, overseeing a British Championship Wrestling match in Kilmarnock next Friday.

You get all sorts at comedy clubs, but Lewis Schaffer was stunned when he asked an American girl in his audience her name and what she did for a living… and learned she was USAF Sergeant Katie Sparks, a former astronaut on the Mir space station. She had spent 12 days in space, 608,000 miles above the Earth, in 2006. Lewis got her up on stage and she filled in the audience with fascinating details. After the show Schaffer got Googling to check out his new chum and discovered that the Mir space station burned up in 2001 – five years before she claimed to have been in it. There was also no reference to any female astronaut called Katie Sparks, and he might have checked that 608,000 miles is about three times as far away as the Moon. As Schaffer’s producer John Fleming said: ‘She had made the whole thing up – whether as an intentional con trick for unknown reasons or as a fantasist’s dream.’ Still makes a change from the pissed-up Christmas part crowds ‘hilariously’ pretending to be ‘condom testers’.

Here's an oddity... It's a clip from Phil Nichol's show Nearly Gay, which was filmed for DVD but never released. The story concerns a fellow comic taking issue with Nichol's song Only Gay Eskimo. Anyone who's seen the show live will know it was Scott Capurro – but lock out for the name they've dubbed over in its place:

Ouch! Accidental - but brutal – slam from Channel 4's new comedy star Morgana Jones when she was discussing her female predecessors in an interview. 'French and Saunders?' 'I love them so much.' Smack the Pony? 'I loved them!' Jo Brand? 'Love her!' Catherine Tate? 'She was one of my heroes, growing up.' Ronni Ancona? 'I love Ronni Ancona!' ‘Lucy Porter? 'Who’s she?'

Mel Smith says his former Not The Nine O’Clock News co-star Pamela Stephenson is ‘not my favourite person’, complaining that the comedian-turned psychotherapist couldn’t even be bothered to remember his wife’s name. Which is Pamela.

Tweets of the week:
Falko Roos (@FalkoRoos): Hahaha... Sepp Blatter was asked "Who is your favourite Qatar player?" He replied "Eric Clapton!"
Simon Evans (@thesimonevans): We need an abbreviation for this Russian Tournament. Please RT.
Boyd Hilton (@boydhilton): It's as if Frankie Boyle watched Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle and thought "I can do this, but turn it into a crime against humanity"

SOURCES: Esquire, Twitter, Daily Record, thejohnfleming.wordpress.com, YouTube, Sunday Times, YouTube, Daily Mail, Twitter

Published: 3 Dec 2010