The Big Ask: What are you going to do once the Fringe is over?

Curl up in a ball and cry until the final settlement comes through. Bryony Twydle, Flamingo, Underbelly Med Quad, 20:30

I'm moving from Dublin to London, so I need to throw away most of my possessions. I've accumulated a lot of used batteries, I'm looking forward to saying goodbye properly to them. Maybe give them a Viking style funeral. Alison Spittle, Worrier Princess, Gilded Balloon Teviot, 17:15

West End transfer or call centre (which funnily enough involves working in the West End transferring calls). Damien Warren-Smith, Garry Starr Performs Everything, Underbelly Cowgate, 20:10

Is the Fringe ever over? One of our friends has already booked a work in progress in October for their Fringe 2019 show. When I worked for a comedy agency, the time between the previous Fringe debrief and the following Fringe’s planning meeting was about 3 weeks. Plan is to immediately start work on next Fringe show, ad infinitum. Moon, Pleasance Attic, 21:30

Give birth! Athena Kugblenu, Follow The Leader, Underbelly, Clover, 17:30

I am going to give up comedy and work at the Foreign Office. This isn't funny, it's just a fact. Rob Oldham, Worm's Lament, Pleasance Courtyard, 21:30

Buy a house with my bucket money and live among my awards. David McIver, David McIver Is a Nice Little Man, Opium (Upstairs), 14:30

To return to Los Angeles where I live in self imposed exile and take a break from climbing those steep, cobbly streets which I’ve learnt are not conducive to 30 bone fractures. Jim Tavare, From Deadpan to Bedpan..., Counting House Ballroom, Laughing Horse, 16:15

I have a gig in Glasgow the following night - just in case my Glaswegian fans don't fancy the trek to Edinburgh Graham Fellows, Completely Out Of Character, Maggie's Chamber @ The Free Sisters, 16:30

Regret ever doing it and then book our train again for next year Lola & Jo, Focus Groupies, Underbelly (Delhi Belly), 16:00

I will have a week where I don’t think about comedy at all. I’ll go and live in a forest and survive off berries. Ian Smith, Ian Smith: Craft, Underbelly: Buttercup, 17:15

Washing, hug the kids, walk the dog Justin Moorhouse, Northern Joker, Gilded Balloon, 19:00

Lie on some hot sand and fall asleep with no alarm. Ell Sachs, The Travelling Sisters: Toupé, Biliard Room - Gilded Balloon Teviot, 18:15

I am performing a horror show as Medusa, naked, on rollarblades, at the Nuffield Theatre in Southampton. Elf Lyons, ChiffChaff, Pleasance Jack Dome, 18:50

A holiday and then set aside fifteen minutes to wade through the piles of life changing opportunities. Scott Bennett, Leap Year, Just The Tonic At The Mash House, 17:55

See my cats for two weeks - then just when they've forgiven me for leaving go on holiday with my husband. John Pendal, We Are Family, Gilded Balloon Teviot, 17:30

I have filming for a new TV show that I'm apart of the cast for. I turn 30 a few days after so hopefully party, and spend a few days relaxing Darren Harriott, Visceral, Pleasance: Beneath, 21:30

I'm going to take all the money I've earned and go on a bender across South America. Garrett Millerick, Sunflower, Tron, 17:00

That depends entirely on how the Fringe goes - but a gradual nervous breakdown is never far away. Pierre Novellie, See Novellie, Hear Novellie, Speak Novellie, Pleasance Courtyard, 19:15

Supposed to be going on a balloon ride, but it’s all up in the air at the moment Darren Walsh, Massive Punt, Just The Tonic: Little Kirk, 18:00

I'm working on getting my Perceive Your Reality And Make It Different (PYRAMID) scheme get under way. The return on investment is amazing, email me for more details. Stanley Brooks, AAA Stand-up at Underbelly, Underbelly Cowgate, 18:20

I like to stay in Edinburgh for a while to write new projects as the festival's being dismantled. Something about the lingering ghosts of a million shows makes it a very good place to make stuff. Then another show tour in Luxembourg. Lee Apsey, CSI: Crime Scene Improvisation, Underbelly, Bristo Square, 15:35 I

I fly straight to Cornwall early hours of the last Sunday for a wedding and a week with some old friends. I'll look like a faded rockstar who hit the bottle too hard and everyone will have to take turns feeding me vegetables and singing lullabies. One morning I'll go down to the beach and I'll walk out into the storm for one last wave. Keanu Reeves is on the shore, his hair long and sullen, sleek black, beautiful, soaked by the rain. He knows he should arrest me, but won't. He's done with the FBI, he's seen too much. He knows I'm not coming back... Matthew Highton, Insufficient Memory, Heroes at Dragonfly, 20:40

I'm going to start filming myself prancing about in my flat in Lewisham for starters, after that who knows... Having more fun, enjoying life. Marny Godden, Marny Town, The Hive, 18:20

I'm finishing a day early this year to go to my cousin's wedding. I love weddings. Jack Barry, Tango, Globe Bar, 20:30

It's taken me 55 years to realise my dream of playing here, so I might just go home and sit quietly for a bit. Jeremy Nicholas, JAfter Dinner Stories From My Disastrous Broadcasting Career, Gilded Balloon Teviot, 13:30

To keep on rockin’ in the free world. Russell Hicks, Love Song for the Viciously Ambitious, Laughing Horse @ The Free Sisters, 17:45

Genuinely we've been booked at do a week of shows in Denmark, on the condition that we do 20 minutes about Brexit. So we'll be writing a new show. Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre, Superheroes, Gilded Balloon, 22:30

I am building an escape room for the launch of a Call Of Duty game in the first week of September. Charlie PartridgeI Can Make You Feel Good. By Comparison, Just The Tonic at The Caves. 16:50

Honeymoon, baby! Kieran Hodgson, Kieran Hodgson: '75, Pleasance Beneath, 20:15

Not telling because I don't want to leave a paper trail for HMRC to find me. Joe Sutherland, Underbelly: Dexter, 20:10

I live in Edinburgh so am going to go on a Fringe detox to the Isle of Arran where they have no care for 40-minute lulls, 3=star reviews that read like a 4, industry complaining the passholders’ bars aren’t exclusive enough, who Copstick gave a wonderfully harsh review to, the many times you’re asked how your numbers and buckets are by an act worried you might be doing better than them, the anxiety of having a critic in on a quiet night, being handed a flyer for a 'five star comedian' and the palpable desperation of someone coming up to you in a passholders bar to see if being your friend will help their career and the little rush you get when you tell them you are a flyerer so you can watch them fuck off. No one on the Isle of Arran knows who “won” and “lost” at the Fringe because it is our fantastic little bubble that really doesn’t travel far from public consciousness outside of the centre of a small city for one month of the year. Struan Logan, Struan All Over the World, Counting House: Attic, 18:05

Delete the Fringe app so I have space for more pictures of my tea. Chris Washington, You Beauty!, Pleasance Courtyard, 20:30

Record a live comedy album of my show. It's been 3 years in the making, of fine tuning, and adjustments, many many shows, and I think after fringe it'll be all nice and dandy to be forever immortalised on what ever people will be listening to in the future of six months from now. Anesti Danelis, Songs For A New World Order, Laughing Horse @ The Hanover Tap, 12:00

We're going to Disneyland to make everything all better now. Then we're going on tour. But Disney first. Flo & Joan, Alive on Stage, Pleasance Courtyard, 16:00

Get rid of all my Scottish notes before I go back to England. I know it's still legal tender but nobody takes them. Jim Campbell, Trampoline, Just the Tonic at The Mash House, 17:05

Published: 25 Aug 2018