Beth Vyse gets some ideas off her chest...

Beth Vyse's show, As Funny As Cancer, is about her battle with breast cancer, with the idea that she is trying to reclaim what she's lost by being a tit every day at the Fringe. So here she suggests, ten 'tittish' things to do in Edinburgh.

1) Pretend to be French and keen, but not understand flyerers. They'll have to explain their show to you 14 times becoming strangely expressive and angry but have to remain polite, and you just say at the end of it all 'No thanks I'm going to get a pair of loafers from Shoe Zone at that time'. TIT RATING:

2) Get on the Royal Mile stage and take a poo while an all male a capella group from Oxford University are on there. TIT RATING:

3) Never buy toilet paper, just steal it from The Pleasance loos

4) Carry two bottles of Lynx to all free fringe venues, and spray the whole lot saying 'Ummmm that's better, don't ya think that's nicer.' TIT RATING:

5) Dress like your character to try and entice people to your show. TIT RATING:

6) Pretend you're Rod Stewart for a day. TIT RATING:

7) Only take a pair of heels to Edinburgh. TIT RATING:

8) Only go to versions of Midsummer Night's Dream or The Wiz when at the Fringe. TIT RATING:

9) Walk up Arthur's Seat and shout at the top, arms outstretched 'I'm on top of the world'.TIT RATING:

10) Go and see Beth Vyse's show As Funny As Cancer 16.20 @ The Hive. TIT RATING:

Published: 17 Aug 2015