The wit of Simon Hoggart
10 quotes from the late humorist
’As if the nodding dog in a car was channelling the Joker’ On Gordon Brown’s attempts to smile’Miss Widdecombe knows how to find the clitoris of the Conservative party’ At the 1999 Tory conference
’Mr Prescott knows roughly as much about pensions policy as I know about Sanskrit irregular verbs.’ November 2006
’ There was Prince Charles sitting next to the Queen, ready for temporary use, like the car they lend you when yours is being repaired: a sort of courtesy heir.’ At the 2013 State opening of Parliament
’In Washington success is just a training course for failure.’
’This wasn't just shooting fish in a barrel - it was harpooning a porpoise that's got into your bath’ On 2007 Parliamentary attacks on the Labour government, when private records and bank details of 25 million people were lost
’The Cabinet sat bleak-faced, like Easter Island statues on Mogadon. Except for George Osborne, and these days he doesn't count.’ March 2013
’If they ever invent a fat-free lard it would resemble a New Labour MP’ February 2002
’In this country we believe religion is too important to be left to the religious.” November 2012, on Parliament’s power over the church
‘Like the late Les Dawson giving a lecture on psephology.’ On Nigel Farage’s attempts to combine cheeky-chappy charm with serious policies, April 2013
Published: 6 Jan 2014
