A quality MC can elevate even the ropiest of open mic nights into a quality night out. On the other hand, a bad MC can prevent even the most robust of acts from having a good gig.

Here are ten things to avoid if you’re newer to MCing, that I wish I’d been taught when I was starting out. 

1) Don’t try to be funny

This might sound counterintuitive, but the main job of an MC is not to be funny. That’s the job of the acts. 

The MC should create an environment where the audience knows what is expected of them, and where the acts are able to showcase their sets. Being funny is great, and the best MCs are hilarious, but not being funny at all but still setting the room up for success is way better than trying to be funny and failing. 

Try instead to think of yourself as a vibe setter. You’re there as a host, to welcome the audience to an unfamiliar space, and get them in the mood to laugh –once they’re at ease and enjoying themselves, their laughter will surely follow. 

2) Don’t tell the audience that you’re going to speak to them

In my MC workshops, I ask the participants to think of an MC a bit like the host of a dinner party. They make everybody feel welcome and act as a social lubricant, but aren’t necessarily the centre of attention. 

Imagine if somebody at a dinner table said: ‘So I’m going to get to know a few of you now’. You’d think they’re mad. The same is true for MCing. If you want to speak to the audience, then go for it as you would any other conversation. It’s weird to announce that you’re going to talk to somebody before you start talking to them, and will mean people have their guard up. 

When speaking to the audience, don’t ask questions unless you’re actively listening to their answer, and make sure you actually respond to it. Asking: ‘Ddo you like football?’ as a means of saying what you were planning to say about football irrespective of their response is for men who don’t get invited for a second date. 

3) Don’t forget the audience are new to this

You are MCing a comedy night because you love comedy. In fact, you love comedy so much that you’re reading an article about comedy on a website about comedy, you nerd. Remember that the audience will have been only to a handful of comedy nights at best. The majority may not have ever been to a comedy club before. 

For this reason, you should spell the expectations out very clearly, assuming that the audience will not have any idea what’s about to happen. Explain that there’ll be breaks, how they can go to the bar or take a toilet break, and how you expect them to behave during the night. None of this has to be funny, and it’s probably better if it isn’t!

4) Don’t be mean (as a replacement for being funny)

Your job is to make the audience feel welcome and ready to laugh. This is usually at odds with making fun of the front row’s appearance, job, hairline, or whatever other low-hanging comedy fruit you stumble across. Host the night while being mindful that you’re the cornerstone of their night out, and they’ve chosen your comedy night because they want to have a great time. 

The other side of the coin is don’t tolerate abuse directed at you. If an audience member heckles in bad faith, is disruptive, or unkind to you then you are under no obligation to deal with them with good humour. You can explain to them in plain language that their behaviour won’t be tolerated, and if it continues they’ll no longer be able to stay in the room.  

5) Don’t make life harder for the acts

Your job is to give the acts the best possible chance of success, so anything you say that undermines their set should be avoided. If you’re about to bring your Japanese friend onto the stage, check you’re not about to ruin their opening gag by mentioning where they’re from, for example. 

Butchering someone’s name can throw them off too, so do your best to get it right, especially if it’s a name you’re not familiar with. 

I can’t believe I need to write this, but I’ve seen it happen enough to warrant mentioning: Female acts aren’t a novelty any more, so it’s rarely a good idea to say ‘…and this next act is a woman!’ 

6) Don’t blame the audience for your failures

Crowdwork is hard because it’s joke writing at speed about topics that are new to you. People that are bad at crowd work also tend to be bad joke writers. People who excel at crowdwork are typically those who have honed their joke-writing craft already, and are able to do it under the pressure of a live audience watching. 

When you’re new to MCing, I’d suggest not putting pressure on yourself to improvise moments of genius. Instead, just have a sincere and friendly chat with the crowd as a way of welcoming them to the night, without the pretext that you’re using the chat as a vehicle to show how smart and funny you are. 

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen a shoddy MC ask somebody what they do for a living, then respond with some variation of ‘Well, I don’t know what you expect me to do with that!’ or the sarcastic ‘Well, let me just do my 20 minutes of material on…’ as a way of conceding that they asked a question about which they had no interest in engaging with the answer in good faith. 

7) Don’t take anything for granted

Even if it’s a room that you’ve played countless times, don’t assume that things are as they should be. Check that you’re happy with the seating arrangements, the microphone, the stand and its position, the lighting and anything else that could throw you off. Double check the call sheet, the breaks, and anything else that you’ll be communicating to the audience. 

You are there as the ally of the audience, and your job is made harder if you don’t look like you belong on stage. If your first five seconds on stage are uncoiling a microphone cable from the stand, you’ve wasted your opportunity to make a great first impression. 

8) Don’t do more material after the headliner

For that matter, don’t do anything after the headliner. Once the final act has told their final joke, as far as the audience is concerned the night is done—their minds are elsewhere, and they’re already thinking about where their car is parked and whether they have time for chips on the way home. 

Ending a night with a huge list of pleas to follow various accounts, buy tickets for the next event, scanning a QR code for your tour information, and whatever else you dump on your audience will be information overload. Pick just one thing that you might ask of your audience, and leave it at that. Round of applause for all the staff that made the show happen, always. 

9) Don’t act like you’re above the gig

If you’re actually above the gig then you shouldn’t be there in the first place. But if you’re booked to host a night that’s a bit ropey with low audience turn out, poor production, and acts that you can’t in good faith sell to an audience then don’t start the show by telling the audience how rubbish everything is. 

I’ve seen an MC start a show by saying ‘I don’t know why any of you are here given the football’s on!’ The audience has invested their money, or at least their attention, so look for whatever positives you can, and don’t talk down the venue that’s booked you. 

Back to the dinner party: two guests haven’t turned up, you’ve burned the lasagne, and the wine you bought is terrible. Oh well! Let’s still have a great night, shall we!

10) Don’t give up! 

It takes a really long time to become a bulletproof MC. It’s surely frustrating to do crowdwork that doesn't lead anywhere, to deal with a heckler in an inelegant way, or to annoy an act because you brought them onto a dead audience. 

MCing is at its heart about making quick decisions, and the more exposure you get to this kind of decision making, the easier it’ll be. Keep it up!

• Ollie Horn teaches an MC workshop. Details on his website.