Naomi Hefter: Chaos and Order
Note: This review is from 2013
Are you the sort of person who'd like to guess at what age a woman lost her virginity in the hope of winning a 'masturbation wipe’? Then Naomi Hefter's show is the one for you.
Graphic filth defines these 50 minutes; that and anecdotes of her appalling behaviour, of which she seems to have precious little self-awareness.
It's advertised as a 14+ show, but the parents who thought it might be OK for their 13-year-old had to leave in embarrassment as a section about eating cum gave way to her revealing she talked about masturbation on a first date. Thank god they didn't stick around to hear this strangely charmless stand-up discuss YouPorn and the size of a fellow comedian's dick then apologise: 'There's no punchline to that.' And she wonders why she’s single...
She talks about having a sore bum after sex with a German guy who she believes channeled 'the power of Hitler to make me feel like a Jew.’ As if to balance such an horrific idea she later talks about being fucked in the arse by ’a Jew’, so that makes her odd attitude all perfectly alright, then.
God help us if we don't laugh at this horrendous stuff. 'You’re all stupid people, aren't you,’ she berates us, in absolute earnest after some dud. ’People normally get that.' She backtracks and half-apologises for the comment that does nothing to endear her. But strangely she seems more concerned that her ungenerous outburst be reported outside these four walls. ‘Don’t tell anyone I said that,’ she urges. Oopsie.
There’s a glimmer of hope when she moves on to her employment record. Having been fired from 23 jobs in just over four years might say something about her personality – not that she seems to have learned – but it should be comic fodder. She lost one position because she tried to wax her pubes at work, which is an inherently funny story, though she doesn't really add much to it in the telling.
Perhaps she's keen to stick to her initial credo, when she promised everything we heard would be 100 per cent true. As if that matters: if we want truth, we could read an encyclopaedia. We want jokes from a comedian, but this is just awkward, intimate details told with little charisma.
Published: 22 Aug 2013
Past Shows
Agent
We do not currently hold contact details for Naomi Hefter's agent. If you are a comic or agent wanting your details to appear here, for a one-off fee of £59, email steve@chortle.co.uk.