Sitcom writers have historically made great efforts to contrive situations to trap characters together. Now Covid’s done the job for them.

Judith Lucy and Denise Scott imagine being locked down together in this sprightly stage return, climbing the walls with boredom, pickling themselves in wine and charting their physical and mental deterioration. It’s a bit Waiting For Godot, but in the era of Uber Eats.

They describe themselves as national treasures, and the status is undisputed. It comes from decades of unvarnished honesty about their lives, which continues to be writ large here. ‘Could they possibly have any more hair-removal gags?’ asks Lucy after one such barrage. The question is definitely rhetorical.

Despite the audience’s familiarity with these comedy countessas, it still remains possible to be surprised by the filth they come out with, or the graphic description of bodily functions. 

An undercurrent of mortality, death and decay is always present – as well as a reminder that there was much about Melbourne’s draconian lockdowns to be depressed about. Far from bringing things down, the acceptance of the inevitable adds punch to their irreverent gags.

Much of what they cover resonates, from the misery of Zoom gigs to ill-advised new lockdown hobbies. Especially with the sizeable portion of their audience who share their menopausal demographic. But everyone here in Melbourne can relate to feeling the full force of the misery-inducing stay-at-home rules.

Lucy and Scotty also share the sort of decades-long friendship where they can openly bitch about each other without consequence. One of the funniest segments of the consistently entertaining 70 minutes comes as Lucy describes how her so-called friend abandoned her on the Adelaide leg of the tour quicker than you can say ‘positive Covid test’. Occasionally this tips into self-indulgence, but never for too long.

They promise to ‘sprinkle showbiz stardust’ on the coronavirus experience – what else would you expect from a Dancing With The Stars contestant like Scotty? They deliver that through a few sketches of a more theatrical tone such as the scene recreating the awkward liturgical dancing of their youth, which varies the energy compared to their dialogues. And yes, the nude suit makes a reappearance, just when you thought you might finally have wiped the mental image of the last time Lucy wore it.

The duo’s delight at being out of the house is the perfect pairing with their dry wit and world-weary acceptance of their physical decline. Luckily, their comic instincts are suffering no such depreciation, and the result is a frank, funny and facetious show.

• Judith Lucy & Denise Scott: Still Here is on at the Arts Theatre Melbourne at 6.45pm (5.45pm Sundays, no show tomorrow) until April 24 before continuing its national tour.