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Hal Cruttenden

Hal Cruttenden

Nominated for best club comic in the 2012 Chortle awards, Hal Cruttenden originally trained as an actor at the Central School of Speech and Drama, and has appeared in the likes of Eastenders and Kavanagh QC.

But as a stand-up, his break came in 2002, when he was nominated for the Perrier best newcomer award for his solo show Hal. He is now a regular at most the big club on the circuit, and has performed around the world, including appearances at Montreal’s Just for Laughs and at Kilkenny Cat Laughs.

He is also a writer, with credits including BBC One’s Omid Djalili Show.

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Official Website

Hal Cruttenden live comedy dates

Darren Harriott, Hal Cruttenden, Sara Barron

Date: Wed 26 Mar 2025
Venue: Arboretum
Price: £9
Show starts: 20:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden, Marlon Davis, Sara Barron

Date: Tue 8 Apr 2025
Venue: Arboretum
Price: £9
Show starts: 20:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Darren Harriott, Hal Cruttenden, Sikisa

Date: Wed 9 Apr 2025
Venue: Arboretum
Price: £9
Show starts: 20:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden, Nathan Caton, Sara Barron

Date: Thu 10 Apr 2025
Venue: Arboretum
Price: £14
Show starts: 20:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Mon 14 Apr 2025
Venue: Bath Green Park Brasserie
Price: From £10 to £12
Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden, Paul Sinha, Ben Van Der Velde

Date: Wed 16 Apr 2025
Venue: Four Thieves
Price: £1200
Laugh Train Home. Plus: Muhsin Yesilada
Show starts: 20:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Allyson June Smith, Dimitri Bakanov, Hal Cruttenden, Ian Coppinger, Peter Flanagan

Date: Thu 24 Apr 2025
Venue: Comedy Store
Price: £20
Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Allyson June Smith, Hal Cruttenden, Ian Coppinger, Omar Badawy, Peter Flanagan

Date: Fri 25 Apr 2025
Venue: Comedy Store
Price: £24
Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden, Kae Kurd, Mark Thomas, Scott Capurro

Date: Fri 25 Apr 2025
Venue: Headliners
Price: £22
Show starts: 20:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Allyson June Smith, Hal Cruttenden, Ian Coppinger, Omar Badawy, Peter Flanagan

Date: Sat 26 Apr 2025
Venue: Comedy Store
Price: £24
Two shows: 6.30pm and 9.55pm
Show starts: 18:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Date: Wed 14 May 2025
Venue: Towcester Mill Brewery
Price: £18.00
Funhouse Comedy Club. Plus: Jules O’Brian
Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sat 24 May 2025
Venue: Wells Little Theatre
Price: £15
Show starts: 19:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden, Matt Stellingwerf

Date: Mon 14 Jul 2025
Venue: Ashby-de-la-Zouch Lyric Rooms
Price: £16.00
Funhouse Comedy Club
Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden, Tom Wrigglesworth

Date: Tue 15 Jul 2025
Venue: Derby Bar One
Price: £15.00
Funhouse Comedy Club
Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Wed 30 Jul 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £10.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Thu 31 Jul 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £10.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Fri 1 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sat 2 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sun 3 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Mon 4 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Tue 5 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Wed 6 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £14.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Thu 7 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £14.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Fri 8 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sat 9 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sun 10 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Mon 11 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £14.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Wed 13 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £14.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Thu 14 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £14.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Fri 15 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sat 16 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sun 17 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Mon 18 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £14.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Tue 19 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £14.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Wed 20 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £14.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Thu 21 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £14.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Fri 22 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sat 23 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sun 24 Aug 2025
Venue: Pleasance Courtyard
Price: £16.00
Show starts: 21:30

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Fri 5 Sep 2025
Venue: Lancaster Grand Theatre
Price: £20

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 6 Sep 2025
Venue: York Theatre@41 Monkgate
Price: £22

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Fri 12 Sep 2025
Venue: Chorley Theatre
Price: £20

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 13 Sep 2025
Venue: Selby Town Hall Arts Centre
Price: £20 to £22

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sun 14 Sep 2025
Venue: Sheffield The Leadmill
Price: £22.55

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Thu 18 Sep 2025
Venue: Portsmouth Guildhall
Price: £23.40

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sat 20 Sep 2025
Venue: Hedge End Berry Theatre
Price: Please contact venue or promoters

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sun 21 Sep 2025
Venue: Winchester Arc
Price: £20

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 27 Sep 2025
Venue: Silsden Town Hall
Price: £27.50

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Thu 2 Oct 2025
Venue: Andover The Lights
Price: £20

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 4 Oct 2025
Venue: New Milton Forest Arts Centre
Price: £20

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Thu 9 Oct 2025
Venue: Northampton Royal & Derngate
Price: £22

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Fri 10 Oct 2025
Venue: Luton Hat Factory
Price: £22

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 11 Oct 2025
Venue: Brighton Komedia
Price: £22

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Wed 15 Oct 2025
Venue: Maidstone Hazlitt Theatre
Price: £22.50

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Fri 17 Oct 2025
Venue: Kendal Brewery Arts Centre
Price: £23

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 18 Oct 2025
Venue: Darwen Library Theatre
Price: £21.50

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Fri 24 Oct 2025
Venue: Gloucester Guildhall
Price: £21

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 25 Oct 2025
Venue: Worcester Huntingdon Hall
Price: £23

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Date: Sun 26 Oct 2025
Venue: Nottingham Arts Theatre
Price: £20
Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Fri 31 Oct 2025
Venue: Hexham Queens Hall Arts Centre
Price: £20

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 1 Nov 2025
Venue: Barnard Castle Witham Hall
Price: £20

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sun 2 Nov 2025
Venue: Newcastle Stand
Price: £20

Show starts: 20:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 8 Nov 2025
Venue: Chelmsford Theatre
Price: £21.50 to £23.50

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Fri 14 Nov 2025
Venue: Basingstoke Haymarket
Price: £24

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 15 Nov 2025
Venue: Hemel Hempstead Old Town Hall
Price: £20

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sun 16 Nov 2025
Venue: Hemel Hempstead Old Town Hall
Price: £20

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Thu 20 Nov 2025
Venue: Leicester Square Theatre
Price: £22

Show starts: 19:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Fri 21 Nov 2025
Venue: Tunbridge Wells Trinity Theatre
Price: £22

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 22 Nov 2025
Venue: Milton Keynes Stables
Price: £22.50

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Fri 28 Nov 2025
Venue: Leicester The Y Theatre
Price: £21.50

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 29 Nov 2025
Venue: Cambridge Junction
Price: £23.50

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sun 30 Nov 2025
Venue: Colchester Arts Centre
Price: £21.50

Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Premium

Premium listings cost £5, and are given greater prominence in the display, a photograph of one of the performers, and a ticket link. Click here to add a Premium listing today.

Date: Sat 21 Feb 2026
Venue: Salford Lowry
Price: £24.50

Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)

Comedy Store: Live And Uncut

At Chortle Fast Fringe 2012

Products

DVD (2015)
Hal Cruttenden: Tough Luvvie

DVD (2014)
Hal Cruttenden Live

Past Shows

Edinburgh Fringe 2002

Big Value Comedy Club (Early)

Hal Perrier best newcomer nominee

Edinburgh Fringe 2003

Hal Cruttenden: To Hal And Back

Edinburgh Fringe 2005

Edinburgh Fringe 2008

Hal Cruttenden : Climb Every Molehill

Edinburgh Fringe 2012

Hal Cruttenden: Tough Luvvie

Edinburgh Fringe 2013

Comedy Gala In Aid Of Waverley Care 2013

Hal Cruttenden: Tough Luvvie [Fringe 2013]

Edinburgh Fringe 2015

Hal Cruttenden: Straight Outta Cruttenden

Edinburgh Fringe 2016

Hal Cruttenden: Straight Outta Cruttenden

Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Hal Cruttenden: Chubster

Edinburgh Fringe 2019

Hal Cruttenden: Chubster

Edinburgh Fringe 2021

Hal Cruttenden - It's Best You Hear It From Me (Tour Preview)

Edinburgh Fringe 2022

Hal Cruttenden: It's Best You Hear It From Me

Edinburgh Fringe 2023

Hal Cruttenden: It's Best You Hear It From Me

Edinburgh Fringe 2025

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Montreal 2008

Tour

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Hal Cruttenden: It's Best You Hear It From Me

Hal Cruttenden: Lively

Agent

Christian Knowles
CKP
6 Lordship Lane
East Dulwich
SE22 8HN
Office: 020 8693 1800

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