Glenn Moore recalls his most memorable gigs

First gig

The Chortle Student Comedy Award 2011. I lied on the application and said I’d done a few gigs before (apologies, Chortle). I really enjoyed myself, but the set is still on YouTube which is a great source of shame for me. Anyway, this is essentially a desperate plea to Chortle to please now take down that video. Really please.

Gig that taught me the biggest lesson

My first death. I was in the heat of a new act competition in 2012 where everyone was tearing the roof off, having a brilliant time. Then for some reason the audience really turned on the act who was on before me; the atmosphere really soured for no clear reason, but all the while I was thinking ‘Well if I try hard I can claw this back.’

Nope.

Silence silence silence. My seven-minute competition set took me three minutes. I left to sparse, tepid applause, but the act after me got the audience mostly back on side, and then after that all the other acts had a great time.

At the end, when the judges announced who was through to the next round, the host said ‘Now, this winner might surprise some of you (harsh), but you have to appreciate that maybe if it hadn’t been for the act before them (harsh), they’d have done even better.’

Oh my god, he was talking about me! They’d seen through the odd audience response! Then they announced the winner was the guy who’d gone after me. And I’d done so badly the judges had mentioned me as the reason he hadn’t received the reaction he could have done. That taught me quite the lesson in humility.

Worst journey to a gig

Plymouth for an open spot about four years ago. I mean, Plymouth is just so far. From anywhere.

I know it’s an hour from Exeter, but I feel like London to Exeter is four hours, and London to Plymouth is 17 hours. The act driving the two of us back understandably needed to sleep on the way home, but he stopped just shy of a service station to sleep in a lay-by for – and this is no exaggeration – 5 hours. My phone had died and he switched the engine off, so no radio, no sound, nowhere to walk to. Just me, patiently waiting for a man to wake up, in silence, for five hours.

Best gig as a punter

Hans Teeuwen at the Fringe in 2010. I had no idea what I was going to see, and I was there as a student punter with next to no comedy knowledge. I’d never fallen off my chair laughing before. I was dribbling. I was an absolute wreck.

Least welcome post-show comment

My final day of the Fringe 2017 was scientifically the world’s most silent death; an agonising failure where you could hear the audience bristling at every punchline. It’s the only time I’ve ever wrapped up a Fringe show ten minutes early. It was profoundly silent - every time I nervously swallowed it was deafening. At the end, as audience members kept their heads down and raced past me, a woman very kindly said to me ‘Congratulations,’ and I managed to weakly reply ‘Thanks…’ and she had a think for a moment and then said ‘I get the impression you’re not quite ready to do a show yet?’ Thanks!

 • Glenn Moore’s new stand-up show Love Don’t Live Here Glenny Moore will be at the Pleasance Courtyard Cabaret Bar at 16:00 daily from July 31.

Published: 23 Jul 2019