'Funny. Fast. Free' **** (ThreeWeeks). 'Picture BBC's Live at the Apollo' **** (DeadlineNews.co.uk). Each night sees four experienced acts performing. All our comedians have been hand-picked from an ethical, fair-trade farm where they've been grown in only the finest organic dog poo. All our fart jokes are sustainable due to our unique carbon offset scheme. Each time one of us blows off, a tree is planted in Dagenham, Essex.

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