How do you turn a debut novel into literary gold? What about getting help from someone who's been there and done it? In 2008 Robert Finn began writing the great British novel but got side-tracked by plot deviations, character assassinations and writer’s block. So who better to get advice from than the writer of the most successful load of tosh since the printing press was invented? Robert presents an open letter to the world’s best-selling bad author.

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