Helen is proud to offer an intimate reveal of life as a K list celebrity. She will start the evening with a joke. After that there will be no further gags, but there will be gin. She may share anecdotes about her charity appearances ('auditions' as her agent prefers to call them), she may chat about her recent appearance on ‘Celebrity DIY’ where Craig Philips gamely offered to 'fill her crack' – but there will be no innuendo. Questions about what it feels like to be comedy's supply-teacher may be rejected in favour of ones about hairdressers.

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