Inside No 9: The Bones of St Nicholas
‘Come on,’ says Reece Shearsmith’s Pierce enthusiastically.’A ghost story at Christmas?! It’s perfect.’
That’s exactly what Inside No 9 has served up for its second Christmas special, after borrowing the myth of the Krampus – the Alpine anti-Santa who punishes the naughty children – for its first, back in 2016.
In fact, The Bones of St Nicholas contains not just one ghost story but several. For what else would you do in a reputedly haunted church on Christmas Eve than share scary tales?
This must be the only church in the land not to be having a midnight carol service on December 24. Instead, Dr Jasper Parkway (Steve Pemberton) has booked an overnight stay, Airbnb-style, hoping for some alone time but also taking a suspiciously keen interest in the building itself, which has a link with none other than the original Father Christmas, St Nicholas of Myra.
However, his hoped-for solitude is broken by Pierce and Posy (the ever-delightful Shobna Gulati) who have also booked themselves in – perhaps it’s warden Dick (Simon Callow) trying to earn an extra few bucks for the building’s upkeep. And Pierce’s call that Jasper is like someone out of a Dan Brown novel doesn’t sound too far off the mark.
Our first spooky story is the real legend – if that’s not a contradiction – of St Nicholas, which is both surprisingly grisly and surprisingly little-known. At least before it got told on an esteemed BBC comedy-drama anthology.
And you don’t put Simon Callow in a show like this without using his compellingly sonorous tones to tell his own ghost story - and he absolutely delivers. Even the irritatingly upbeat Pierce and Posy – essentially light relief for the episode – hang on his every word, getting a little creeped out by it. That they previously encountered a hideous effigy of St Nicholas (an incident undercut with a lovely comic line) probably exacerbates that.
But then creepy things are clearly afoot - it is an Inside No 9 episode after all – fleeting glimpses of ephemeral figures, eerie noises and even an errant bauble all chill the spine.
All in all, The Bones of St Nicholas is a ghost story, perfect for Christmas. Forty-four episodes in, and Shearsmith and Pemberton can still delight, chill and amuse in equal measure.
Review date: 22 Dec 2022
Reviewed by: Steve Bennett