Tweets of the week

Tweets of the week

Poo, Spew, Barmy Hair-do, Cuntface, Dribble, Twat. pic.twitter.com/9OO1vdwQ0o

— Parody Rishi Sunak (@Parody_PM) April 13, 2024

Overestimating my knowledge is really my Hercules’ heel.

— Gary Delaney-next tour 2025 (@GaryDelaney) April 17, 2024

"To avoid complications, she never kept the same address" - That would actually make things a lot more complicated. It's all very well being a Killer Queen, try registering with a dentist.

— Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK) April 16, 2024

I use AI to help me write emails but to make them sound more geordie I use YI

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) April 19, 2024

I can recommend Brian Wilson as a divorce lawyer. He's giving my ex citations

— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) April 18, 2024

Pigeon pecks balloon
Gets beakful of helium
Now *that's* a high-coo #NationalHaikuDay

— T'Other Simon off of Plastic Jeezus (@TOther_Simon) April 17, 2024

I just bought a new umbrella as part of a wetness protection scheme.

— Alf (@whoelsebutalf) April 17, 2024

Man goes to the doctor, says 'I'm depressed'.
Dr says 'treatment is simple, go see Pagliacci, he wasn't earning enough to get by in the entertainments industry so he did a 3 week online course & now he makes mental health assessments for Serco.'

— Gabby Hutchinson Crouch (@Scriblit) April 19, 2024

David Bowie: why so sad Bing?

Bing Crosby: My inflatable butt has gone flat.

DB: You need my rubber bum pump?

BC: Rubber bum pump?

DB: Rubber bum pump. pic.twitter.com/ilzjK5LL2X

— ★ Unklerupert ???? BBBBB (@unklerupert) April 16, 2024

Published: 20 Apr 2024