Comic confesses to schoolday prank

Jimmy Carr’s made a career out of dick jokes – and it turns out he started young.

The comic has revealed that he once vandalised his school with graffiti of a penis – but in a rather spectacular way.

‘You know that thing you do at school with drawing a spunky dick on a desk?’ he says on Mel Giedroyc: Unforgivable tonight. ‘ Well basically all I did was that, but scale-wise….

‘What we did is we got some petrol and we laid out a dick on the school field and then we burned the dick into the field so that from every classroom in the school you could see a massive spunking cock.’

The comedian added of the nighttime prank: ‘It’s a victimless crime really, I’d recommend it to anyone watching.’

Apparently struck by an out-of-character bout of  conscience that he shouldn’t be condoning such behaviour, Carr swiftly added: ‘No, actually, don’t do that at your school unless… unless… you want to be a fucking legend!’

He told fellow panelists that he didn’t get caught for the incident, but that he wasn’t too concerned about confessing on national TV, saying: ‘What are they going to do, take back my GCSEs?’

• Mel Giedroyc: Unforgivable is on Dave at 9pm tonight

Published: 9 Feb 2021