Usually bland backstage Royal Variety chat becomes pointed

Backstage at the Royal Variety Performance is usually the place to exchange bland, polite pleasantries.

But Frank Skinner has revealed his shock when the Earl and Countess of Wessex offered a scathing review of his rendition of Three Lions during their post-show encounter last week.

The comic put the unexpected bluntness down to the fact that Prince Edward and Sophie Wessex are not used to such occasions, having only recently been bumped up the royal pecking order.

Speaking on his Absolute Radio show, Skinner confessed that he himself had not been on form when performing the football anthem alongside David Baddiel and the Lightning Seeds at the Royal Albert Hall, having battled on through a sore throat.

He joked: ‘I made Dave sound like Mario Lanza on the night. It actually hurt to sing it. Four minutes of hurt never stopped me singing. I was in physical pain.’

But he still expected the usual platitudes from the Royals when he lined up to meet them backstage.

Recalling the encounter he said: ‘Sophie led the way – and, and bear in mind I'd had a really hard day and battled on like a trooper. So she comes up to me and Dave and she says, "Well, don't give up your day job."’

‘This is not this is not how the royal walk thing works,’ an incredulous Skinner said.  ‘It’s supposed to be just banal compliments!’

‘And I said, "Well, was it that bad?" And she said, "Well, you know, I could tell it's not what you do".

‘And I said, "Normally we’re like comics." She said, "Yeah, but you're on screen, you're not used to a live crowd." I said, "Well, we've done a bit of live stuff, stand-up and stuff."

‘But she's sticking with it. She said, "Yeah, but you haven't done anywhere the size of this." I said, "Look, I did the Palladium last Sunday…

‘She looks at me like "I don't think you're supposed to be arguing with me. You're supposed to just nod."

The comic said Edward also criticised their performance, but couldn’t remember his exact words. But Skinner does recalls sarcastically replying: ‘That’s a good review.’

As he recounted the incident on air, he laughed it off, suggesting the Royal pair had become rusty when it came to one-on-one encounters.

He said: "I think that what’s happened is they don’t really do this stuff much. [The Royal Family] have been reduced in numbers for various reasons, and so they’ve been pulled out to do this.

’It’s a bit of a skill just talking to someone for ten minutes and not upsetting them.’  There was  a bit where it just, it just died, the conversation. Which  never happens with the Royals.  There was a moment which probably was three seconds but felt like 10 minutes. And he said, "So things are well?" And I though: "No,  come on!"

‘I think it's tough [for them]. It’s like the reserve goalie coming on.’

The Royal Variety Performance, hosted by Lee Mack, will be shown on ITV on December 20. It also features comics Al Murray, Maisie Adam, Omid Djalili and Britain's Got Talent winner Axel Blake.

Published: 5 Dec 2022