‘Okay. So… I fell asleep in the toilets’
• 'People take comedy too seriously' Joe Pasquale (although someone else probably said it first).
• Burnistoun star Rab Florence has spent the night in a Glasgow pub toilet, after falling asleep drunk. The comic tweeted at 9am today: 'Okay. So… I fell asleep in the toilets' – along with a picture of the urinals of BOX Glasgow, a venue on Sauchiehall Street. The comedian apparently awoke when someone came into the main bar, as he tweeted: 'Oh fuck. And it's like 9am and music playing and is it a ghost? And will I get arrested?? There is someone out there in the bar. If I go out they will get a fright, yes?' He added that emerging from the toilets was the 'walk of shame of my LIFE' and: 'I'm laughing here because I came out of the toilet with my hand out in a "it's okay" gesture, like Chris Pratt with they raptors.'
Okay. So… I fell asleep in the toilets of @BoxGlas pic.twitter.com/ZkXaz9bQ5Y
— RAB FLORENCE (@robertflorence) July 3, 2015
• It's probably not the most highly contested title ever, but an Irish village is hoping to set a world record for the most people dressed as Mrs Brown in one place. The Dublin village of Finglass, home to the sitcom's creator Brendan O'Carroll, is taking the attempt as part of its festival on July 19 and is already seeking people to register.
• Meanwhile, a copy of a Mrs Brown's Boys live DVD has found its way into the hands of some criminal mastermind. Avon and Somerset police are currently trying to get rid of a copy that they recovered from a crook by placing it on the Bumblebee Auctions website that disposes of such property (or invites the hard-to-find rightful owner to come forward). Bidding has reached a dizzying £1, while its condition is described as 'Sealed. Appears unused.' Even crooks have taste.
• American comic Kurt Braunohler is driving across the US in a flatbed truck… with a 15ft papier-mache ass on the back. 'It is a large butt,' he writes. 'It is 14-feet tall, 15-feet long, 8-feet wide and weighs 1600 lbs. It's actually a double butt. It's got a butt on both sides. A front butt and a back butt. So no matter what angle you see it from, you get all the butt.' He's calling at Las Vegas, Denver, Kansas City, and Washington DC, among others places.
• Joan Rivers's opulent Manhattan home – which she once described as being how Marie Antoinette would have lived 'if she had money' – has sold for its asking price of $28 million. The four-bedroomed apartment had its own ballroom, library, 23ft ceilings, and antique fittings. Snoop around on the estate agent's website here.
• Comic Dave Hill sums up the personality differences between stand-ups and actors: 'An actor will make everyone else's life hell, and a comedian will make their own life hell.'
• Games developers Bungie, creators of the Halo franchise, hired comics David Cross and Brian Posehn to write jokes for their upcoming release Destiny - but none of their gags were used. Arrested Development star Cross told IGN: 'They did not use a single, solitary thing that we wrote, which is a shame… I would imagine somebody somewhere said, "We can't inject this levity or humour into it.".
• CORPORATE CORNER: This week Ed Byrne hosted the Motor Transport Awards; Stephen Mangan hosted the SuperMeat & Fish Awards; and Lucy Porter hosted the Cyber Security Awards… including categories such as Penetration Tester Of The Year. 'I have a vulnerable back door,' she joked.
• Tweets of the week
Me at a party…
'Heh, baby, I'm the one your mother warned you about'
'Yeah, she said don't get stuck talking to him. He's really boring'.
— Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) July 3, 2015
I recently pulled and had a wild night of sex with one of the Mr Men! *fist bump*
— Ian Power (@IHPower) June 27, 2015
I'm not going to watch Magic Mike XXL as I haven't seen the first 29 films yet.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) July 2, 2015
Published: 3 Jul 2015