Shredded Wheat for hair...

WTF: Weekly Trivia File

If anyone leaves[my show] without having a religious experience or an orgasm, they get their money back.' Russell Brand.

A misprint in the index to Charlie Brooker’s new book, I Can Make You Hate, refers to ‘Sadowitz, Cheery’. Wonder if that name will catch on?

Billy Connolly has little time for those who criticise him for laughing too much at his own material. ‘People who complain are jealous because I'm funnier than they are,’ he said. Connolly – who has just been honoured by Bafta Scotland for his 50 years in the business – also told San Francisco’s Gate newspaper: ‘I believe in funny, not clever. Too many fucking Oxford/Cambridge boring fucks out there with their know-it-all kind of comedy. If I hear someone described as clever, I won't buy a ticket.’

Part-time comedian Darren Maskell is hoping to get a statue of himself erected in his home town of Croydon, after attracting hundreds of votes in an online poll. Transport body Sustrans launched a campaign to put life-size portraits on benches along a new cycle route – but clearly did not reckon on the vagaries of social media. Maskell, a 26-year-old fishmonger who was a finalist in last year’s Laughing Horse new act competition, is now int eh running for the honour against the likes of Edinburgh-born Ronnie Corbett, who lives nearby, and local actor Dave Prowse, the man behind the Darth Vader mask.‘When you see these statues to minor celebrities it doesn’t mean much to people,’ Maskill told the Croydon Advertiser. ‘But if there was a statue of somebody they didn’t know, it would be a talking point.’

Australian comedian Jonathan Atherton has been fined £500 after chasing a man up the aisle of plane and threatening to punch him, saying: ‘I see a demon in you, I'm going to punch you.’ The comic, who also runs The Comedy Club in Singapore, had downed a bottle of vodka on top of anti-anxiety pills before boarding the Singapore to Coolangatta flight.

Jason Cook, writer of the BBC Two sitcom Hebburn, has been made Honorary Life President of Hebburn Town FC.

Artist Carl Warner has made a picture of Morecambe and Wise entirely out of breakfast foods, in honour of one of their most famous sketches. Their jackers were make with mackerel and kippers, their faces made from sausages, gammon and bacon, and All Bran for Eric’s hair and Shredded Wheat for Ern’s. You can hardly see the join. More than two dozen eggs were employed for the pairs’ shirts – half scrambled to recreate the frilly fronts.

A survey has found that the North West of England has produced the world’s funniest comedians. In no way should this vigorous scientific research be treated with suspicion just because it was commissioned to launch North West comedian Peter Kay’s DVD.

A JCB cut through a fibre optic cable near the Isle Of Dogs, East London, last night, taking down the Chortle Forums. Apologies for that part of the site being down while the road was dug up and the line replaced.

It was bound to happen.. the only riddle is why it took so long. When Lenny Henry signed up to be the face of Premier Inn, the company made it known he would be staying in their budget establishments while on tour. Yet after his show in Wimborne, Dorset, this week he was snapped checking into the four-star Captains Club Hotel, even thought it was further away than the nearest Premier Inn...

Tweets of the week:
Jacques As In Hattie (@jacques_aih): "So, David Beckham, what about these ridiculous transfer rumours?" "They're not ridiculous transfers - they're tattoos"
Cluedont (@cluedont ): I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'No you don't.'.
Quantum Pirate (@QuantumPirate): If a vicar christens your child "Comic Sans" it's your own fault. You should have checked he was using a decent font.