'The Muppets are rapists'

WTF: Weekly Trivia File

The Muppets are rapists... at least according to Courtney Love. The rock chick claimed that the puppets 'raped' the memory of Kurt Cobain by using Nirvana's hit Smells Like Teen Spirit in their movie. It was sung a cappella by a barbershop quartet – but even on screen Jack Black protests: 'You're ruining one of the greatest songs of all time'. Here is a little of the 'rape':
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Talking about puppets... Zippy from Rainbow had been lined up a guest presenter at the Chortle awards next Tuesday, with original puppeteer Ronnie Le Drew all ready to bring the iconic children's star to life. But then Fremantle Media, which owns the rights to the character, asked for a supermodel-like £1,000 for the four-minute appearance. We'll be doing without.

Doug Stanhope has revealed he had a huge fight with fellow comic Matt Kirshen for sleeping with his girlfriend. He told the website Muso Guide: 'It almost came to… well it did come to blows but it almost came to arrests. That was the last time I was here in August at the Leicester Square Theatre. I’m not a fighter, and he isn’t either but we were drunk and something happened and we got bloody and then the cops came. I think they let me go just because I am American and it was too much paperwork. But if you wanna put out the olive branch, because I haven’t spoken to him since and it was really ugly. Matt, what happened between you and my girlfriend and our physical violence… I forgive you and I hope we can be friends again because [you are] a brilliant comic.'

Mel B turned up three hours late for the recording of this week's Celebrity Juice – because she decided to go to movie premiere instead. When she did arrive, Keith Lemon demanded: 'I’ve a question for you: Where the fuck have you been?'

Meanwhile, Leigh Francis's creation is the newest waxwork at Blackpool Madame Tussauds.'I feel vain cause I keep lookin at myself and touching myself,' he said at the unveiling.

One of the writers of Upstairs Downstairs must be stand-up fan - or short on inspiration. The boxing opponent of chauffeur Harry Spargo in last Sunday's episode was named Micky Flanagan. It could be something of a dig as Flanagan slags off costume dramas in his stand-up. 'I just hate everything about them,' he has told an interviewer. 'The self-importance, the ridiculous stories, the low-level luridness – like a bad Carry On film without the jokes.'

‘If you ever see me doing red carpet stuff, I’m always in an ironic "this is how posers pose’ pose" Russell Kane. Proof

Tim Minchin was approached to write a song for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee – but was dropped in favour of Gary Barlow. He said that Andrew Lloyd-Webber approached him to work on the official song, but then he heard nothing more about it until he learned that the Take That star was doing it. He told Absolute Radio: ‘Well Lloyd Webber was talking to me about co-writing a song for the Jubilee… but now he’s writing it with that guy who judges talent shows now. I’m going to have to ring him up and cry down the phone. We were just gossiping about the idea, but it wouldn’t quite be my scene anyway.’

Theatres hosting the Birds Of A Feather tour have been told that if dressing room space is tight Linda Robson and Pauline Quirke will share – but Lesley Joseph needs her own, with fridge, and fresh flowers daily.

Kevin Bridges has won a footballing bet – after putting money on Norwich player Wes Hoolahan to score against Wigan. And the reason he backed the midfielder? He has a similar surname to Hank Azaria's Dodgeball character O'Houlihan

'I'm always a fan of messing with people,' Doug Stanhope told Shortlist magazine this week. 'In an interview I just did I told them Matt Kirshen slept with my girlfriend and that me and him had ended up this huge fisticuffs and I nearly got put in jail and thrown out of the country. But I made the whole thing up.'

Tweets of the week:
Andy Dutton (@Andy_Dutton): I fell out with my skydiving instructor. He left under a cloud.
Sebas (@OhLookBirdies): There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
JN ‏ (@trouteyes): I saw a woodpecker on the way to work this morning. Oooh. Wow, Amazoing - a woodpecker with a job.

'SOURCES: Radio Times, TMZ, Chortle, MusoGuide, Daily Star, Chortle, YouTube, Chortle, Scotsman, Absolute Radio, Popbitch, Daily Record, Shortlist, Twitter.

Published: 16 Mar 2012