WTF: Weekly Trivia File

• ‘It’s a bit weird to get a British Comedy Award, because you sense you must have failed in some way.’ Stewart Lee

• Chris Langham has had to cancel a planned appearance at Tonbridge School to talk about his movie Black Pond, after parents raised concerns about his conviction for downloading indecent images of children.

• At a hometown gig at the Theatre Royal, Newcastle, Ross Noble was once interrupted by a great commotion on the balcony, as one woman kept shouting: ‘Does anyone know Peter? Does anyone know Peter?’ True to his freeform style, Noble started taking the mickey, joking: ‘What are you doing? Naming your favourite disciples?’ But she kept shouting out, disrupting the gig. Only after a while did it become apparent that Noble had misheard her, and she was shouting: ‘Does anyone know CPR?’ A man next to her had choked on a Malteser and was struggling to breathe. Luckily all ended well, as at one point the victim managed to laugh at Noble messing about, causing the chocolate flew out of his windpipe and allowing him to breathe again. ‘So I almost killed a man and brought him back to life,’ the comedian said when recalling the event for BBC Comedy recently.

• David Walliams has revealed that the autobiography he is currently writing will be called Camp David.

• Welsh-Jewish comedian Bennett Arron’s grandparents were orthodox that they wouldn’t even light a fire on Shabbat, the day of rest. The person who came in to do the task for them them was a young Anthony Hopkins.

• Remember Craig McLachlin from Neighbours, panto and Dancing On Ice? Well, he once tried stand-up – and it didn’t exactly go well:
  

• Prolific blogger John Fleming has recalled some dodgy practices at the Edinburgh Fringe in a piece yesterday. He reveals: ‘I paid at the box office of a venue to buy a full-price ticket for a highly-regarded comedian’s show. Instead of giving me a ticket in return for my money, the guy at the box office picked up a half-price newspaper voucher for the show, tore it in half, kept one half and gave me the other half. He had a pile of these half-price vouchers. My assumption was and is that, when giving the comedian a percentage of the box office returns, the venue was skimming off money claiming that a lot of tickets were being bought at half price when, in fact, the full price had been paid.’

• ‘Comedians are all soldiers in the same war. Although Jim Davidson was in the Waffen-SS.’ Alexei Sayle

• At a tribute night to the late Malcolm Hardee last week, poet Ian Breslin recalled seeing him on stage the night the Queen Mother popped her privileged clogs. Although plenty in the audience thought he wouldn’t date touch the subject, Hardee walks on stage and opens with: ‘The cunt’s dead…’ to great commotion and upset. ‘Still a good fuck, though...’ Here is Breslin telling the story:
  

• London is to get its first stand-up night conducted entirely in Spanish. The Clapham Grand is hosting the monthly El Carnaval de la Comedia from February 16. The Comedy Store already occasionally hosts a French-language show, Le Jamel.

• Phillip Schofield says he’s ‘flattered’ by comedian Vikki Stone’s song in which she confesses a stalker-like obsession for The Cube host. ‘Now I’ve seen everything!,’ he tweeted after seeing a video for the song, which he had a cameo in. ‘Vikki Stone you are bonkers and I’m very flattered, thank you xxx’

• Tweets Of The Week
  Adam Hills (@ adamhillscomedy ): Hang on, a Newt is running for US President in the Chinese Year of the Dragon. David Icke was right!!!
  Sebas (@OhLookBirdies): First they came for the mutes, and I did not speak out, because I am a mute.
  jacques_aih (@ jacques_aih ): The story of the lady with two vaginas is now available as a box set.

SOURCES: Irish Times, Daily Telegraph, BBC Comedy, Radio One Newsbeat, The Jewish Chronicle, YouTube, thejohnfleming.wordpress.com, Chortle. You Tube via John Fleming (again), Chortle, Twitter

Published: 27 Jan 2012