Weekly Trivia File: Brand apologies to Winehouse for his lecherous dad

• ‘What Willie Wonka was to Charlie, Steve Jobs is to me.’ Stephen Fry confesses his awe for the Apple founder.

• Russell Brand story #1: He called Amy Winehouse this week to apologise after his 66-year-old dad Ron tried to get intimate with the 26-year-old singer at the notorious Hawley Arms pub in Camden, North London.

• James Corden this week escaped a parking ticket for being ‘too important’. A traffic warden spotted that he had illegally parked his smart new Jaguar convertible on a central London while he nipped into a bakery to load up with two huge rolls. An onlooker – by which we can take to mean the paparazzo who took pictures of the incident – said: 'James ran over looking a bit panicked and asked the warden if she was going to fine him. But she made light of things and said to him, "You're too important to get a parking ticket". Instead she asked him to sign his autograph, which he did very willingly.’

• As part of his vital importance, Corden has also been given ‘unprecedented access’ to England’s World Cup squad for his new ITV after-match entertainment show, despite manager Fabio Capello’s aversion to any off-pitch hoopla.

• Russell Brand story #2: He admits that he masturbates on tour, but ‘not too much’.

• Fred MacAulay breeds labradors.

• There have been a few rumblings in comedyland about the originality of one of the new Peter Kay ads for John Smith’s beer. Stand-up Pete Jonas has posted a couple of videos on YouTube of him performing a very similar gag as long ago as 2005. Here is the beer ad:
  

• And here is Jonas’s routine:
  

• Russell Brand story #3: Plans for his forthcoming marriage to Katy Perry are said to range from wanting an Elvis impersonator minister – to slaughtering a swan to appease Zeus.

• Ricky Gervais appeared on the live final of American Idol this week, to say farewell to Simon Cowell, who is leaving the US show. He appeared by satellite link – despite staying in a hotel nearby. He told viewers: ‘When the producers of Idol approached me and said. "Ricky, would you come on the finale and say goodbye to your good friend Simon Cowell", I said "How far is the studio?" they said it was only half a mile, but I said "No, let’s do it by satellite anyway". Gervais later told Simon: ‘You are a kingmaker. You have taken ordinary people's dreams and made those dreams a reality, producing some of the biggest international singing stars of a generation... and you only take 80 per cent of their wages. What a guy.’

• When Jimmy Carr asked his audience in Croydon if there were any questions before the interval, he wasn’t expecting a marriage proposal. Fan Adam Olver stood up and said: ‘I have a question, but it is not for you’ - then asked his girlfriend Selina Lovett to marry him. Recruitment consultant Olver said: ‘They put all the lights on and Jimmy made everyone stand up and then I proposed to her and he cracked a few jokes. We had a glass of champagne and met him afterwards. He told me I was punching above my weight.’ The couple, both 28, have a two-year-old daughter and plan to marry in 2012.

• At a benefit gig for epilepsy at the Wycombe Swan Theatre this week, stand-up Ray Peacock abandoned his prepared material in favour of trying to kick bottles of water into the lower circle, rugby conversion-style, as Russell Howard provided commentary. ‘Sadly, they all ended up slamming into the stalls,’ he said.

• You get how this fucking motherfucker be doing his first motherfucking comedy fucking gig, you know what I’m saying? Still, you know what I’m saying, he can fucking impersonate Scooby motherfucking Doo, you know what I’m fucking saying, motherfucker? Shit, yeah. Fuck.
  

• Somehow we missed this vital piece of election news, so we bring it to you now. Aaron Barshack, the self-styled comedy terrorist who gatecrashed Prince William’s 21st birthday party, stood against David Cameron in Witney, Oxfordshire. Campaigning for asylum-seekers’ rights, he polled a grand total of 53 votes, not only some way short of the Prime Minister’s 33,973 – but also less that a quarter of the number of votes cast for the Monster Raving Looney Party.

• Russell Brand news #4: The Mirror reports that his cat Morrissey is ‘nonplussed’ with Brand’s boxing workout.

SOURCES: Stephenfry.com, Daily Star, Daily Mail, Daily Express, Rolling Stone, Glasgow Herald, YouTube, People/Complex, Chortle,Croydon Guardian, Chortle, YouTube, Jewish Chronicle, Daily Mirror

Published: 28 May 2010