'Comics can be real pains in the arses...'

WTF: Weekly Trivia File

‘I treat sex as pretty much the last household chore of the day,’ Billy Connolly.

Frankie Boyle has been speaking with his usual frankness about the world of comedy. 'Comics, in general, can be pains in the arse,’ he says of his colleagues. ‘OK, so your mum and dad didn't love you enough. Don't seek approval from 500 strangers every night.' And as for his own ambitions of playing big arenas: 'I think the bigger the crowd, the lower the average IQ. That kind of comedy does tend to be, "Your mum dances like this, doesn't she?" And I'm like, "Do you know what, mate? Fuck off''.'

Completely unrelated to that last item, Peter Kay has reportedly persuaded Paul McCartney to make a cameo in his new Channel 4 show Britain's Got The Pop Factor And Possibly A New Celebrity Jesus Christ Soapstar Superstar Strictly On Ice.

Alan Carr once drunkenly spat in Kylie Minogue’s face. ‘Not deliberately, but you know when a bit comes out?’ he said. ‘Spittle it's called.’

If.comedy award nominee Rhod Gilbert was the bookies’ favourite to take Edinburgh’s top award, but he’s come to terms with his disappointment at losing out to David O’Doherty. 'In the cold light of day, I'm not sorry that I didn't get it,' he says. 'Losing I'm happy with. That's what I do best: be a loser.'

This week’s nightmare stand-up gig… One heckler takes a hack ‘I fucked your Mum,’ putdown rather badly:

David Walliams offered Carmeon Diaz $10 to do the splits. He says: ‘I met Cameron Diaz at the Chateau Marmont hotel. She didn’t know who I was but I was excited to meet her She was doing funny yoga moves with her legs in the air. She was lying back on a sofa. She had trousers on but her legs were split right apart and I said, “Can you do it again before you go?” and she said, “No”. I said, “What if I give you ten dollars?” and she went, “All right then.” She was just being playful.’