It's Dykey Gervais!

The week's comedy trivia

  • Ricky Gervais has made number 3 in Cracked.com’s ‘top 25 men who look like old lesbians’ list.

  • Paul Whitehouse is in the doghouse after losing his ex-wife Fiona’s cat. He was asked to look after eight-year-old ginger moggie Bob while she took their three daughters on a Christmas break - but the cat somehow escaped from his £2million townhouse in Islington, North London. Whitehouse spent days searching local streets, including putting 'Lost' posters on the lamp-posts, and was concerned the beloved pet wouldn't survive the freezing temperatures. But in the end Bob turned up of his own volition, and Whitehouse was forgiven.

  • For the Borat film, Sacha Baron Cohen visited a plastic surgeon to have something called a ‘reverse circumcision’ so Pamela Anderson wouldn't think he was Jewish. But the scene was never included because the doctor recognised him. ‘Wait! You're Ali G!’ the surgeon exclaimed… but only after Baron Cohen had dropped his trousers.

  • Stephen Merchant tried to blag a free meal off Gordon Ramsey when he showed up for filming on Extras – but to no avail.

  • It’s not been a good week for comedy marriages. As well as John Cleese, US comic Tracy Morgan is heading for the divorce courts, with his wife saying the 30 Rock star is back on the booze. Sabrina, whose been with him for 22 years, said: ‘I have to divorce him. I still have feelings for him, but the marriage is over. I gave him every opportunity to stay in the marriage, but he's failed. It's terrible that he's drinking again. He knows he shouldn't be doing that for so many reasons, his health especially his health.’ Meanwhile, Johnny Vegas has been to a 25-minute High Court hearing with his estranged wife Kitty Donnelly over money.

  • Graham Norton says he's starting to feel his 44 years. 'Jesus I look terrible,’ he said. 'What can you do about it? Never say no to plastic surgery, I say. The bags under my eyes are the worst part of my body. If I was going to start, that's where I would start.'

  • When David Walliams visited Frankie Howerd’s house for research for his new role playing the comic icon, he feasted on boiled ham in raspberry juice. ‘David even took some home in a doggy bag for his mum,’ said Howerd’s former nurse Chris Byrne.

  • Through all his wind-ups Marc Wootton says he’s only been punched once – but it put him in hospital. He was at an illegal rave, when he tried to get the crowd to sing ‘We are scum.’ A group of people stormed the stage and attacked him. On the same subject, one of the characters in Wootton’s new BBC Three series is a ‘freaky-looking’ transsexual Una. One night, after filming, the comic went out in character, to try to win a bet that he could pull dressed like that – and he did. A bloke gave him his number and asked to meet up later.

  • Barry Humphries doesn’t hide his light under a bushel when he talks about his talents as a painter. ‘I paint extraordinarily accomplished landscapes and portraits,’ he says, modestly.

  • New York comic Mark Malkoff couldn’t find anywhere to stay while his apartment was fumigated – so he’s moved into Ikea. The comedian, who previously visited all of Manhattan’s 171 Starbucks branches in one day, is staying in a branch all week, sleeping on a display bed, eating in the restaurant, and showering in a back office. He’s chronicling his progress on marklivesinikea.com.

  • Russell Brand is winning friends in high places. When asked about British comics, Chris Rock said: ‘That young guy, Russell Brand's pretty good. Yeah, I've definitely been checking out the scene in the UK.’ But to bring him back down to earth, Brand has been voted the celebrity most in need of a makeover in 2008. By which esteemed body of style leaders? I delusionally imagine you asking. Answer: 100 customers of the David Maria hair and beauty salon in Dickson Road, Blackpool. Owner Deborah Quinn said: ‘Our salon is ideally located for those visiting stars who want to take up new style and beauty suggestions.’ Watch them come flocking…

  • Namesakes corner: Lee Evans is the wide receiver for the Buffalo Bills NFL team; Billy Connolly is professor of political science at Johns Hopkins University, Maryland; and Michael McIntyre is the new regional sales director of GMG Radio.

SOURCES: Cracked.com, Mail On Sunday, New York Daily News, Ariel, Contactmusic.com/Daily Mirror, Daily Mirror, Weston & Somerset Mercury, Zoo magazine, The Independent, CNN, The Independent/Blackpool Citizen, Chortle

Published: 11 Jan 2008

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