The week's trivia round-up

• ‘What would you do if you woke up one morning and found yourself suddenly massively unfunny?’ Jimmy Carr was asked in an interview. His answer? ‘Write for Tittybangbang’.

• We could fill this page with Russell Brand tidbits this week, given his ubiquity as he promotes his autobiography. Here are just a few things that hadn’t previously been reported
  • A neighbour sexually abused Russell Brand as a child, but the groping was swept under the carpet. ‘It happened and I told my parents. I never had any dealings with him again - that was it,’ he said.
  • Russell Brand was once worked as a ‘scab’ postman – crossing picket lines to deliver mail – but driven entirely by the hope of getting sex. But he was disappointed: ‘No one ever opened that door and went, “Here, do you want to come in?"’ He also admits stealing some of the post: ‘CDs and birthday cards mainly’.
  • Unless he got lucky last night, Russell Brand hasn’t had sex for 23 1/2 days.
  • Among the underclass Russell Brand used to hang out with when he was on drugs was a guy called Lucky Ricky, who lived on a north London council estate with his wife, Pearl. But the friendship took an odd turn when Ricky showed him a photograph of Pearl's vagina - taken up her skirt. Brand rcalls: ‘I was sitting politely taking drugs in their house… when Ricky, beaming, thrust a photo into my eyeline and asked, "What do you think of that?" I thought, how do you answer this question without offending anyone? What is the correct answer? What would it say in Debrett's Guide to Etiquette? "It's nice" - is that the right answer? "It isn't nice"? It's just an impossible social quandary. I think in the end I went "Mmm", thinking, If I just make a noise, that could be judged either way.’
  • Chris Evans’s ex-wife Carol McGiffin says she would pay Russell Brand for sex.

• Michael Palin might be a seasoned traveller, but he still makes mistakes. When he arrived in New Zealand for a publicity tour promoting his New Europe series, he forgot to pack any clean underwear. Meanwhile, Ricky Gervais says his favourite pyjamas were swiped off a British Airways jet.

• Jo Brand called fashion fascists Trinny & Susannah ‘psycho-lezzers’ after they grappled her to the ground on the Graham Norton show that aired last night, right. Susannah ended up getting her hand stuck in Jo's bra,

• Chris Rock is getting fed up of the hip-hop stars whose music he used to love. ‘Nobody's into being a musician. Everybody's getting their mogul on,’ he said. ‘All the time you should spend getting great songs together, you're busy doing nine other things that have nothing to do with art. You know how shitty Stevie Wonder's songs would have been if he had to run a fuckin' clothing company and a cologne line?’

• Dead Ringers star Jon Culshaw says he’s flying back from LA – just to switch on the Christmas lights in Ormskirk.

• Jeremy Hardy says Linda Smith never spoke of the cancer that claimed her life last year because ‘she didn’t want to give it the publicity’.

• David Walliams has a framed photo of himself thrusting his bare arse in Paul McCartney’s face – which he keeps in his parents’ house. It was during the Little Britain live show when he was playing mental health patient Anne. ‘I think it was the only time Paul McCartney had a big, fat, hairy bottom in his face like that,’ he said. ‘Maybe it was quite memorable for him. It's one thing to meet your idol but another to have him see you on tour. During the show, I kept thinking, I wonder if Paul laughed at that joke?’

• Noel Fielding is no fan of comedians who do ads. ‘The Peep Show guys bent over and had pound coins fired up their anuses,’ he says of their Apple campaign.

SOURCES: ShortList; Russell Brand stories: The Sun, Virgin Radio, The Mirror, The Guardian, ITV1’s Loose Women; New Zealand Herald/The People; BBC; HiphopDX.com; Ormskirk Advertiser; The Sunday Times; Daily Express; thelondonpaper;

Published: 16 Nov 2007