GagSlag gossip round-up

The weekly round-up of utter trivia gleaned from the grubbier end of the week’s news:

• Matt Lucas says he fancies a night with the resolutely heterosexual Samuel L Jackson - but he’d have to be treated right. ‘If he took me to that Rod Stewart musical, then we went to Garfunkel’s, and he put me up in the Novotel, he’d be in with a chance.’

• Meanwhile, David Walliams took Natalie Imbuglia and Jimmy Choo boss Tamara Mellon out to dinner at The Ivy this week.

• Russell Brand has been ordained as a ‘vicar’ over the internet so he could officiate in the wedding between two of his mates.

• Robin Williams sounds like he’s turning into an aging Daily Mail reader fretting over political correctness. The comic, who plays a comedian turned politician in his latest film Man Of The Year, says he doesn’t want to be American president in real life because ‘I'm not sure I appeal to lesbian vegetarians’.

• American comic Andy Dick is getting fed up with reports that he’s gay. ‘Just because I've been with guys, doesn't mean I'm gay,’ he explains, unhelpfully.

• Sacha Baron Cohen has been his usual diplomatic self on a visit to Paris as Borat, in which he told the French: ‘Your McDonald's are wonderful ... I eat there 15 of these delicious hamburgers.’ But, he added: ‘Today there was a problem and my anus was hanging loose like the mouth of a tired dog.’

• SPOTTED: In the audience at the second night of Doug Stanhope’s London run, the normally reticent Chris Morris along with IT Crowd star Richard Ayoade.

• John Cleese says ‘My one regret about leaving Fawlty Towers is that I don't have anywhere to use all the hotel material that crops up every time I move to a new city’. Like the waiter in Oslo who refused to believe he was John Cleese from room 901, saying: "Well no, because the man in room 901 is Mr Incognito."

Published: 13 Oct 2006