Scientists come up with joke equation

It sounds like a joke in itself – but scientists have developed the formula for the perfect gag.

They claim the ‘comedic value’ of a joke can be determined by the equation:

It takes into account the length of the joke's build-up (l), the funniness of the punchline (f), the number of slapstick incidents (n) to the pain they suffer (o) and the number of puns (p).

But for a supposedly serious scientific formula, it’s remarkably woolly, with subjective variables like ‘funniness’ and ‘ouch factor’ that are impossible to measure.

And, according to the formula, any joke which doesn’t rely on puns (p=0) would be infinitely funny.

One-liners score very badly, while shaggy-dog stories with long build-ups score well, regardless of whether the punchline was worth the wait.

The spurious formula has been “developed” by a neuroscientist and a comedian to drum up publicity for a future Science Museum event which aims to prove science can be funny.

Neuroscientist Helen Pilcher claimed: "I think you can apply the formula when sitting down and writing gags."

And stand-up Timandra Harkness, who collaborated with her, said: "It is common knowledge that the longer the build-up, the less funny the punchline needs to be. And vice versa."

The formula has achieved one thing, however - uniting old and new schools of comedy. Both of whom deride it as worthless mumbo-jumbo.

Jimmy Carr, pictured, called the formula "total and utter nonsense… You can only ever analyse jokes retrospectively, which is why scientists aren't funny and why I am."

While Bernard Manning told the Sunday Telegraph: "To make a joke funny you have to learn your delivery over the years. It's rubbish to suggest that you can come up with a formula like this."

Published: 13 Jun 2004