The last of Richard Herring's Emergency Questions

Any song in the key of B flat, except Roxanne. Roxanne can do what ever she wants, Sting! Stop meddling in everyone's lives. Love, Two Little Dickheads    Two Little Dickheads: Kapow!, Just The Tonic at The Charteris Centre, 22:40

As an ex-chemistry student I'm gona say Graphene, which is a miracle substance composed of a single layer of carbon atoms. I don't actually know what it does as I never graduated on account of taking too many chemicals.   Dylan Dodds and Friends (Friends Not Included), Just the Tonic at the Grassmarket Centre, 23:10

Fashion models. Arnab Chanda: Boy From Earth, Voodoo Rooms, 19:40

Flat champagne. I'll drink anything.  Juliette Burton: Defined, Gilded Balloon Teviot, 17:30

Flat Stanley. Do you remember him? Oh what a fine flat fellow he was.    Harriet Dyer: The Dinosaur Show, Gilded Balloon, 20:15

Money.    Schalk Bezuidenhout, South African White Boy, Pleasance, 21:30

My mood.    John Robertson, The Dark Room, Gilded Balloon, 21:15

Supertramp's Crime Of The Century on vinyl.    Joz Norris Is Dead. Long Live Mr Fruit Salad., Heroes @ The Hive, 16:40

The flat peach or for the Americans, the apartment peach    Saskia Preston, Ninety-Five, Underbelly Bristo Square, 13:50

The Netherlands   Cally Beaton, Invisible, Assembly George Square Studios, 17:10

Nietzsche's conception of the hellish flat circle of time, it always makes me chuckle!     Rob Oldham: Worm's Resolve, Counting House, 21:00

…And thanks to the hundreds of highly original comedians who said ‘The Earth’!

Published: 25 Aug 2019