Tony Cowards translates the poster quotes

If you've been up to the Edinburgh festival in the last few years you'll know that there has been an explosion in the number of comedy shows at the Fringe, with the number of performers seemingly rising at an exponential rate.

Consequently looking through the brochure or the reviews and trying to pick who to see has become a nightmare so to help you out I've prepared a quick and easy, cynic's guide to some of the jargon used to describe various types of comedy and comedian.

Musical comedian: Someone who's not good enough to be either a musician or a comedian.

Comedy poet: Someone who can't be bothered to learn their material and just reads it out of a book.

Edgy: A comedian who swears a lot.

Ground-breaking: A comedian who swears a lot and makes jokes about paedophilia.

Pushes the boundaries: A comedian who swears a lot and makes jokes about paedophilia AND rape.

Experienced: Aging hack.

Whimsical: Hasn't got any jokes.

Storyteller: Hasn't got any jokes.

Great improviser: Hasn't got any jokes.

Chatty: Hasn't got any jokes.

Fantastic MC: Hasn't got any jokes but can ask people questions.

Crowd pleaser: Tells jokes which audiences love but critics hate.

A comedian's comedian: Someone who doesn't make audiences laugh but other comedians find hilarious because of the awkwardness of them alienating the punters.

Legendary: Managed to stay in the business for over 15 years.

Fresh faced: Destined to be a T4 presenter within 6 months.

Rising star: Has a parent who works in the business.

Award winning: Tells sad, poignant stories with a theme.

Award nominated: Tells sad, poignant stories with a theme but not well enough to win, possibly too funny, did jokes.

Topical: Has reworked old Fred West jokes about Raoul Moat.

Political: Dull but worthy.

Sold out: Managed to fill their 20 seat venue 80% of the time last year

5 Star Review: Was seen by the 1980s pop group from Romford who said it was rubbish

Cult: Liked by a few, slightly weird people who will follow anything as long as it's esoteric.

Laddish: Tells nob jokes

High energy: Shouts a lot

As seen on "Mock the Week": Not a woman

Not for the faint hearted: Will probably say the word "cunt"

Poignant: Will make you cry rather than laugh.

Offbeat: Spouts random nonsense which an important reviewer once praised so it must be funny.

Controversial: Once offended an audience member and managed to get a mention in the Daily Mail. Possibly racist.

Must see: Sold out, no chance of getting any tickets

Has a buzz about them: Have a very good PR agent with connections to the press.

Hope this list, which is by no means complete, helps in your enjoyment of the Festival experience.

• Tony Cowards is not appearing in Edinburgh but his Edinburgh show, No Ticket Required will be available on Twitter at 2pm every week day of the Fringe by following @TonyCowards

  Published: 2 Aug 2010